With an increasingly competitive Law School admissions process, it's important to understand what makes an applicant stand out. Admissions consultants and test prep experts share accepted Harvard Law School application essays and analyze what makes them work.
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Each Thursday, I volunteer at the Oklahoma County CARE Center as a play assistant. I greet children who experienced abuse and play with them before their forensic interview. I comfort guardians while the interview is taking place and welcome kids back to the playroom when they are done. Before leaving, I give each child a “Brave Pack” filled with stuffed animals, coloring books, and fidget spinners. Playing with children at the CARE Center is the first step to providing healing resources to survivors of abuse.
She was thrilled to hear a story, and I was happy to provide temporary comfort. This small moment established trust, empowering her to recount her experience during the forensic interview.
My first emergency case involved three housing-insecure children. Law enforcement agents brought them to the CARE Center after abuse was discovered. I introduced myself and we began playing with Barbies. After several hours of playing, the oldest child, a teenager, asked if I could read. She explained that she couldn’t, having never attended school. She requested that I read Where the Wild Things Are out loud. She was thrilled to hear a story, and I was happy to provide temporary comfort. This small moment established trust, empowering her to recount her experience during the forensic interview.
Children involved in the prosecution of abuse are often frightened and overwhelmed, but the resources provided at the CARE Center are designed to be comforting. Working with children at this stage of their legal journey has solidified my desire to defend the rights of vulnerable populations. After graduating from law school, I intend to serve as legal counsel for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. As an attorney, I hope to provide adequate representation to clients while prioritizing their mental well-being and safety for the duration of the trial.
Many children who come to the CARE Center are food insecure, lack stable housing, or are in the foster care system. Abusers often are not held accountable, as attorneys are expensive and inaccessible to many. Representing children, undocumented individuals, and low income clients in the nonprofit sector, I hope to improve attorney access for survivors of abuse. It is my goal to contribute to the broad advancement of gender justice. As my career progresses, I intend to represent clients whose civil rights and civil liberties have been violated on the basis of their gender or sexual orientation. By advocating for clients whose rights have been violated, I will challenge discriminatory policies in court. I hope to protect access to reproductive healthcare, expand state and federal civil rights laws, and address gender discrimination in the workplace.
Volunteering at the CARE Center, I have gained important skills for working with survivors of domestic violence. Establishing trust requires empathy, compassion, and attentive listening. Throughout my legal career, I plan to use these skills to be an effective lawyer in service of others.
“Why Law?”
Good law school statements of purpose are largely similar to good college essays: they should be engaging, demonstrate strong writing skills, and showcase the applicant’s unique strengths and interests. However, your law school admissions officer is interested in something else as well: a reason. Your statement of purpose should provide a clear and convincing reason why you want to go to law school. College (for better or worse) has become an important part of a general education. Law school, on the other hand, is a trade school. Schools want to admit students who will actually practice law, so your personal statement should always answer the question: why law?
We see this demonstrated almost immediately in Maria's essay. By the end of her first paragraph, she’s already clued in her readers to what her reason would be: providing healing resources to survivors of abuse. Simultaneously, she checks off another important box of the statement of purpose: providing a tangible example of something she’s done to support that reason. Instead of writing theoretically about how nice it would be if she was able to use a J.D. to help abuse survivors, she gets right into the experience she already has doing just that. This indicates to law schools that she is serious about the reason she wants to pursue this path.
Law schools want to admit students who they're confident will 1. Graduate, 2. Pass the Bar, and 3. Become Employed. These are the metrics that determine their success as an institution.
Maria talks about a particular case that sparked her interest in working with children who have survived abuse and very simply relates that to her continued desire to help these vulnerable populations post-law school. Law schools want to admit students who they’re confident will 1. Graduate, 2. Pass the Bar, and 3. Become Employed. These are the metrics that determine their success as an institution. By speaking about a specific area of interest and related employment experience rather than gesturing about a desire to practice law, you convince schools of your likelihood to do all three of those things.
Structure
I always tell students to first and foremost build the statement around telling a good story. Admissions officers are still people. Even if you present a great reason for going to law school and make a strong case for your admission, your essay will not be effective if it’s boring.
Maria, understandably, makes one of the most common mistakes we see in personal statements: she treats the first half of the essay like an extension of her resume. Personal statement real estate is more valuable than resume real estate. Rehashing a list of duties and responsibilities in the personal statement is a poor use of real estate and makes the story less engaging. Maria would be better served by expanding the anecdote of her reading a story to a teenager who couldn’t read, adding color and weaving it throughout the entire statement.
In her second to last paragraph, Maria moves rather abruptly from her intent to offer assistance to survivors of abuse to her intent to remedy gender injustice. This second reason why she wants to practice law is not nearly as well-supported as the first - by tying these two together more clearly or by providing individual support for the second, she could have made a more compelling case for this secondary career goal. Picking one reason and using her writing real estate to better affirm that specific goal would have made this statement stronger.
Overall, Maria demonstrates a simple and convincing purpose that underscores a serious intent to practice law. If she can restructure the essay to focus on a central reason, built around one or two compelling stories, she’ll end up with a fantastic centerpiece to her application.
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See with a critical eye. Question everything. Never accept anything simply because “that’s just the way things are.” These are the lessons of my past, my present, and my future.
By the early 1980s, life for freethinkers in Iran was untenable. Ayatollah Khomeini, fearful of Westernized Iranians who questioned the authority of his newly formed theocracy, ruled with an iron fist. Dissenters were jailed, disappeared, or, like my father’s oldest brother, killed. As the Islamic Republic became increasingly powerful, government coercion forced the majority of Iranians to accept the new social and political order imposed by the ruthless regime. My parents, however, were defiant and unwilling to accept a life of fear and oppression. Given that my mother is Jewish and my father Muslim, they understood that Khomeini’s new regime would not recognize their marriage. Thus, they chose to leave their life in Iran behind and escape to a new world where they would have the opportunity to live free.
My parents were willing to give up everything they had for a chance at freedom. At a young age, therefore, I too, became aware of the importance of standing up for your principles, no matter the cost.
My parents knew that starting over in the United States would not be easy. In Iran, they were well-educated people with postgraduate degrees. When they arrived in California in 1983, they encountered freedom, but it came at a substantial cost. They did not speak English and had no money. They also had two small infant children. To make ends meet my parents found work in whatever field they could; an architect became a gas station attendant and a university professor became a librarian. Having witnessed their sacrifice, I remember asking my father one day if he regretted leaving Iran. He chuckled and said, “No. Not at all. I would rather be a liberated gas station attendant than an oppressed architect.” My parents were willing to give up everything they had for a chance at freedom. At a young age, therefore, I too, became aware of the importance of standing up for your principles, no matter the cost.
Through the lens of my parents’ experiences, I learned that standing up for what you believe does not guarantee justice. Rather, it often results in great suffering. It is not easy to right a wrong. In 2000, shortly after being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, my mother was fired from her job as a librarian. It wasn’t that she couldn’t perform her job; she just didn’t fit in anymore. Her termination was clearly a violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act. But at the time, my family did not have the money to hire an attorney. In the end, she was unable to right this wrong. In 2001, I encountered a similar predicament when I was arrested and falsely accused of a crime I did not commit. With little financial resources, I was unable to spend the money needed to defend myself properly. Instead of clearing my name, I found myself accepting a plea bargain. These two experiences evoked a feeling of helplessness that I never wanted to feel again. It was just a short while later when I encountered yet another wrong. This time, however, I had the chance to do something about it.
Growing up as an Iranian-American, I have always had a deep respect for tradition and it was UCLA’s tradition of excellence that drew me to Westwood. For decades, under the leadership of Coach John Wooden, UCLA’s men’s basketball program, symbolized this tradition. During my first two years at UCLA, however, the program had rapidly deteriorated under the leadership of head coach Steve Lavin.
Game after game, coach Lavin justified losing with what became his favorite byline: “Our opponent played at a magical level.” To me, Lavin’s words translated to “that’s just the way things are.” Rather than taking responsibility for the team’s failure, Lavin blamed defeat on a paranormal performance by the opponent. Lavin’s reasoning implied nothing could be done differently to change the outcome. I disagreed. Progress comes through change, and if UCLA basketball was to improve, a change in leadership was needed.
I was determined to restore the tradition of excellence to UCLA’s basketball program. To do so, I started a grassroots campaign to “Lose Lavin.” In the spring of 2002, I designed a “Lose Lavin” T-shirt and created a website called LoseLavin.com. The website allowed fans to express their outrage with Lavin by signing an online petition, posting comments, and most important, purchasing my “Lose Lavin” T-shirt, which served as a walking advertisement for the website. It was not long before my “Lose Lavin” T-shirts flooded Pauley Pavilion, and LoseLavin.com became the talk of almost every major sports radio show in Southern California. As the resistance mounted, the athletic department had little choice but to quell the uproar. On March 17, 2003, less than a year after the launch of LoseLavin.com, Steve Lavin was fired.
When compared to the injustices the world faces today, my “Lose Lavin” campaign undoubtedly dealt with a trivial issue. Nevertheless, I learned an important lesson: One person can make a difference. I was just a lowly sophomore in a student body of 36,000, but I rallied the troops and I made a difference. I saw what I believed was an injustice at UCLA and I did something about it. My efforts were not in vain. In fact, just three years after Lavin’s dismissal, the UCLA men’s basketball team made it to the national championship game. Today, UCLA is the #1 ranked men’s college basketball team in the country. UCLA’s tradition of excellence has been restored.
This triumph fueled my drive to be a reformer. Upon graduation, my mind turned back to Iran and problems more pressing than college basketball. Although I was only six months old when my parents fled the country, Iran has nevertheless had a profound impact on my life. Stories from relatives back in Iran constantly remind me of the harsh reality facing the Iranian people. These sad stories inspire me to want to make a difference, to bring about change. Today, Iran is experiencing vast levels of unemployment and underemployment - particularly among the youth. In my honors thesis, I learned that these devastating conditions are the result of the Islamic government’s oppressive economic policies. Researching my honors thesis taught me that jurisdiction in the wrong hands can serve as instruments for not only social and political oppression, but also economic oppression.
During recent work on my newest venture, iAmerica Capital, I have seen a similar phenomenon here in the United States. Relaxed lending laws and an unprecedented period of low interest rates have driven an increase in personal consumption, even though personal income growth is the lowest it has been in decades. The high debt burden coupled with rising interest rates will likely result in a large number of loan defaults in the coming years. This trend combined with recently enacted tougher bankruptcy laws could spell real trouble for a large number of low-income American families. These new bankruptcy laws, by rebuffing individuals seeking debt relief, will make it far more difficult for underprivileged people to escape the cycle of poverty. With this and other injustices, like those seen in Iran, I am not one to accept the status quo or the hopeless pessimism of “that’s just the way things are.”
My life experiences have taught me that the rule of law in the wrong hands can be a powerful tool of oppression. Oppression can only be overcome when people stand up, fight back and do something about it. I want to do something about it. Laws should protect and empower the less fortunate, rather than oppress them further. Today, I look at Iran and see history repeating itself. After eight years of empty promises by reformist President Mohammad Khatami, Iran has returned to the hard-line mentality of the Islamic Revolution. The current climate in Iran is a stark reminder of my parents’ experiences and all they endured to escape oppression. The difference now is I have the opportunity to do something about it. To this end, I seek to attain a legal education, which will provide me with the tools and legal training necessary to go forward and make a difference in this world. After all, jurisprudence is a field of study that is critical in nature, and that which is critical, by constantly challenging the status quo, always has the potential to be better.
If you were to brainstorm a checklist of all the things you’d want a personal statement to have, this one would check off many of those items.
One item on that checklist would be an anecdote about a challenging experience and how that experience informed the person the applicant became. A personal statement doesn’t need to focus on a hardship to be powerful, and personal statements that focus on hardships aren’t always successful. But this applicant’s discussion of their family’s emigration from Iran informs the theme of this personal statement: the applicant’s lifelong belief in “the importance of standing up for your principles, no matter the cost.”
This provides a real example of a time when the applicant stood up for what they believed in and rallied supporters...
Another item most would put on this checklist is a discussion of the applicant’s goals as a future attorney and the steps they’ve taken to reach those goals. Even though the issue is admittedly “trivial” compared to his parents’ emigration from Iran, the discussion of the “Lose Lavin” campaign checks off this item. This provides a real example of a time when the applicant stood up for what they believed in and rallied supporters, not unlike an attorney rectifying wrongs through a class-action lawsuit.
The last item is a description of why the applicant needs to go to law school to achieve their full potential and future life goals. This statement points to legal issues that motivate the applicant and explains why the applicant wants to use the law as a tool to “fight back and do something about” these issues.
But more than simply checking items off a list, this personal statement tells a coherent story with an identifiable theme. Each paragraph flows into the next, leaving the reader with an undeniable lesson: this applicant’s experiences add up perfectly together to show why they will be a successful attorney, whether they attend Harvard or somewhere else.
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Created by the same Harvard Law School alumni that developed BarMax, LSATMax combines cutting-edge technology with top-tier instruction to offer a concierge-level LSAT prep experience far beyond the traditional self-study model.
As the pioneer of mobile LSAT prep and the highest-rated LSAT app on the market, LSATMax provides unparalleled accessibility. Available both as a mobile app and via LSATMax Online, it allows students to study anytime, anywhere, whether on the go or from the comfort of their home.
This flexibility is complemented by the robust, adaptive curriculum, designed to tailor itself to each student's strengths and weaknesses, ensuring a personalized learning experience that maximizes potential and boasts an average score increase of 18 points—the highest in the industry.
The content of LSATMax is crafted by Harvard Law alumni, including those who scored perfect on the LSAT, ensuring that students receive the best possible guidance. These experts have developed comprehensive lessons for every concept and question type, making even the most challenging material approachable and understandable.
LSATMax’s team of 99th-percentile instructors and tutors is dedicated to providing personalized support. With Live Daily Classes, students can engage in real-time learning and ask questions directly to the experts. This interactive approach is further enhanced by the inclusion of every LSAT ever released, allowing students to practice with real exam questions and track their progress through detailed personal analytics. Additionally, every LSAT question includes detailed explanations, not only for every answer choice but also each Reading Comp passage and Logical Reasoning stimulus.
Understanding that every student is unique, LSATMax offers personally tailored study plans that adapt to individual needs and goals. This customization, combined with unlimited personal support and attention, ensures that students receive a truly bespoke prep experience. Additionally, LSATMax offers private LSAT tutoring and law school admissions consulting to provide even more personalized assistance for students aiming to reach their law school dreams.
Start your journey to law school today with LSATMax’s free trial. Experience the future of LSAT prep and see firsthand how LSATMax is redefining what it means to be prepared. With LSATMax, achieving your highest potential score is not just a possibility—it’s a promise!
Tantalized by the sight of the finish line, my legs kicked into high gear as I reached the end of my first Sprint Triathlon to the cheers of onlookers on a hot August morning. Almost a year of training had finally culminated in two exhausting hours of swimming, biking, and running. Even though I competitively ran cross country for seven years, my nerves about this day somehow handily surpassed the nerves about any race I had run during those years. For all the months leading up to the event, I was consumed by a nauseating anxiety that I would fail to complete one of the legs of the race and have to forfeit. Yet I was no longer competing for my school’s team; it did not objectively matter how I fared in the race to anyone but myself. However, the growth I underwent to stand confidently on the morning of the race and accomplish this milestone has a far greater worth than any medal or trophy.
Nine months prior to the race, I could barely swim one length of a pool, capable only of a survival-mode tread. As a child I churned through every swim instructor at my local pool, none of whom ended up succeeding in teaching me a proper freestyle stroke. When I returned home to Naperville after my graduation in December 2022, I was driven back to finish the work of those instructors. Wanting to apply myself to a genuine challenge, I committed to train for a triathlon given my lifelong aversion to swimming. My mom, an avid swimmer since childhood, patiently worked with me through the roadblocks of how to breathe properly and build up stamina for longer swims. The initial physical frustrations eventually gave way to aggressive jitters about the race itself— the fear that my heart would beat too fast and that my breath would escape me consumed my thoughts. In the face of every hurdle, she helped me dispel any doubt that I would not reach the triathlon swim distance of 375 meters. After about six months of incremental improvement, I went from struggling with 25 meters to regularly swimming a full mile.
My training ramped up when I returned to Baltimore to begin my new job at the Office of the Public Defender (OPD) in the Felony Division. Although I highly enjoyed my summer internship and was enthusiastic to continue working there, the gravity of the job seemed out of my depth. In my volunteer work at various shelters throughout college, my and the clients’ worlds intersected only for a few hours per week. I subsequently developed an ambition to contribute more wholly to advancing justice and equity in the city. Working at the OPD has further illuminated the dimensions of advocacy that require an even deeper level of trust and understanding necessary to pursue this work as a livelihood. This was never more apparent to me than when I sat alongside an attorney who, when she left the courtroom following her client’s guilty plea, consoled her client’s grieving family and discussed his sentencing hearing that would follow, where he later received the maximum sentence allowed by the plea.
The flexibility, tact, and empathy the attorney exhibited in her representation both inside and outside of the courtroom floored and inspired me. Sitting in the courtroom and hearing his sentence, my breath escaped me like it once had in the pool. It was clear that neither academic knowledge of the law nor a volunteer background would suffice in enduring repeated devastation and still needing to maintain my composure like she had. But just as in my triathlon training, I feel empowered to forgo what is comfortable and familiar in entering the legal practice through affirmation from my network of support. Through emotionally difficult cases and through technical considerations of how to employ the right case law or elicit the most beneficial testimony, the OPD’s attorneys have given me many opportunities for contemplating my own sensibilities as a future lawyer. In combination with the lessons learned in my years of volunteering and community engagement, I am piecing together the principles that will best contribute to my ultimate goal of being in service to others.
I seek an environment where I can engage with people, places and ideas that will push me to think critically and contribute meaningfully.
I am now ready to embrace the new challenge of law school, this time with more resilience and an even stronger desire to excel. Having transformed moments of discomfort and defeat into fruitful strides, I am prepared to walk alongside clients in pursuit of their proper treatment and outcomes despite any obstacles. As a lawyer, I aim to bring the holistic perspective that has informed my volunteer work and employment to any clientele I serve. To become the most effective and tenacious advocate possible, I seek an environment where I can engage with people, places and ideas that will push me to think critically and contribute meaningfully. I eagerly await the chance to add a new node of fellow devoted students to my support network, hoping that we can be vulnerable about our lived struggles and assist one another in realizing our potential. At Harvard Law School, I know I will find the tools to continue my lifelong work in progress, steered by my determination and buttressed by those who surround me.
Many applicants hear “personal statement” and think “hardship story.” While a profound story about overcoming hardship can result in a successful personal statement, we loved that Alex's essay illustrated one of the many other ways to craft a compelling personal statement. This essay only touches on two points in Alex's life — training for a triathlon and a courtroom scene — but it succeeds because it’s a cohesive story of an applicant with clear goals and the drive to reach them.
In focusing on these two points, Alex's essay avoids a common personal statement pitfall: the “résumé recitation.” Personal statements that recite each item in an applicant’s résumé can be dry slogs that don’t say anything deeper about the applicant. Alex's essay is anything but that. From the beginning, Alex hooks the reader with evocative phrases like “nauseating anxiety” and “aggressive jitters.” She also gives us a sense of her personality, humorously describing her early attempts at swimming as a “survival-mode tread” and recalling how she “churned through every swim instructor” in her childhood.
Moreover, this part of her personal statement displays her empathy and passion, specifically her desire to provide advocacy based on a deeper
Most importantly, Alex's essay conveys that she has the tools, drive, and personality to be a successful lawyer. Alex doesn’t need to say this explicitly in her personal statement — the essay’s two anecdotes show this. The anecdote about the triathlon shows that she can overcome challenges and knows how to push herself to reach hard goals. Her experience in the OPD shows that she has already thought about the impact an attorney can have and has begun working towards a career in public service. Moreover, this part of her personal statement displays her empathy and passion, specifically her desire to provide advocacy based on a “deeper level of trust and understanding” with her future clients. That she cleverly weaves together both stories with the line “my breath escaped me like it once had in the pool” is icing on the cake.
Barrier Breakers® is an education non-profit that works with students from all backgrounds, ethnicities, and income levels but specializes in working with first-generation and marginalized students on the college and law school application process. Barrier Breakers® has helped 7,000+ students nationwide receive more than $490M in scholarships with its team of admissions advisors that include current and former deans and directors of admissions at ABA law schools. 95% of Barrier Breakers' students are first-generation college or law school students. 54% of Barrier Breakers students who apply get into a Top 14 Law School, 66% receive a half-tuition scholarship to law school, and 34% receive a full-tuition scholarship to law school. Barrier Breakers hosts the Break into Law Conference annually, the largest multi-day virtual event for first-generation and marginalized law school applicants in the country, with over 2,000 registrants at the 2024 conference and over 55 law schools participating in its annual Law School Fair. Barrier Breakers' founder, Sydney Montgomery, is a graduate of Princeton University and Harvard Law School. As the daughter of military parents and a Jamaican-immigrant mother, she is passionate about supporting and advocating for first-generation graduates, as exemplified by her TEDx Talk: First-Generation Graduates Drive Business Success. Sydney was named to the Forbes 30 Under 30 2024 Social Impact list and has been featured in FastCompany, US News, Above the Law, Law 360, CNBC, and more. You can learn more about Barrier Breakers' law school admissions services at law.barrier-breakers.org or follow us on social media @barrierbreakerslaw
When I was 13 years old, my heart rate was 20 beats per minute. A dedicated nurse was constantly stationed outside my hospital room as the heart monitor would alert every few minutes that my heart rate was dangerously low. I weighed 82 pounds, felt agonizing pain stemming from my abdominal cavity, had an inch of fluid on my heart, and was facing severe congestive heart failure. The prognosis for my immediate future was exceedingly grim. No doctor could seem to understand what had caused my symptoms to begin with, so there was no solution in sight. However, because of the power of one woman, one voice, I am blessed to be writing this statement for you to read today: my mother. My mother, a woman with no background in medicine or law (but the persistence of a bulldog), embodied the one voice that saved my life.
My arduous medical journey began when I was 11 years old and started experiencing extreme abdominal pain while losing weight rapidly. I went to 22 doctors from every specialty that existed, each consultation ending in a similar way with no answers. The doctors hardly believed my story, and even less so did they know what had caused my medical condition. I was referred from one doctor to the next, a circular, unceasing loop that landed me in and out of hospitals for over two years, resulting in missing two years of school. At 13 years old, I had no voice, I had no authority, and I had no way of understanding what was wrong. I needed someone to stand up for the pain I was in, I needed someone to stand up for my life. That is exactly what my mother did. My mother was my advocate. She believed every word I said, and she fought for me every step of the way when no one else believed me or had given up. She spent day and night looking for answers - and she found them. By reading medical journals, she deduced that it was in fact a massive neuroma in my abdominal muscle that was causing this abhorrent pain which culminated in my excessive weight loss. Through persistence, she found what no one else could.
She arranged our travel to Baltimore, Maryland where I had the neuroma removed and where I felt my life begin again. The second the neuroma was removed, the world became brighter, imbued with hope for a flourishing future. I was blessed with a second chance not by random luck, but because of the support of an advocate who stepped in for me: a vulnerable, 13-year-old girl who only wished to live a normal life. It was through her one voice that salvation came to draw me out of the darkness and into the light, a lesson I will never forget.
I was a woman who had learned from her mother that one voice, no matter how small, can make all the difference.
From that day forward, I vowed to use my second chance and my voice to advocate for others. When my grandmother was diagnosed at 84 years old with multiple myeloma, a rare cancer, the doctors gave up, claiming she was too old and should simply go to hospice. But she wanted to live - and I made sure that happened. I researched day and night through medical journals for alternative solutions, looking for different hospitals and new drug combinations to treat her using my background in biology. I found viable answers that led to her living a beautiful, miraculous life for two more years with my family. She decided her fate rather than letting the doctors choose it for her. I was a woman who had learned from her mother that one voice, no matter how small, can make all the difference.
Without advocacy, those who are vulnerable (whether they be 13 years old or 84 years old) cannot be heard, supported, or protected. I am living proof that an advocate can change the course of an entire life. I have chosen to serve as an advocate through campaign work and interaction with voters directly across Texas, standing up for what issues matter to them most. I have trained for advocacy by working inside the heart of the Texas Legislature alongside attorneys to learn how policy is created and affects every single Texan. As president of Global Medical Brigades, I have implemented the development of multiple brigades to countries across the world, advocating for universal medical access and a sustainable healthcare industry.
It is because I have chosen this path that I am determined to expand my humanitarian reach through a career in law, the basis of which is advocating for the rights and testimonies of others. By incorporating my interest and background in health systems and human rights into a law degree from Harvard Law School, I will broaden my scope of assisting vulnerable people who need a helping hand. Through this specialization, I hope to work with patients and non-profit organizations to navigate the legal system in order to achieve the best medical care possible. This scope would also include advocating for universal health coverage in under-resourced communities both domestically and internationally. I aspire to become a lawyer because I personally know the power of what one voice can accomplish.
Katelyn’s essay begins with a powerful and gripping narrative of a life-threatening medical condition she faced at a young age. The vivid depiction of her medical crisis, combined with her mother’s relentless advocacy, sets a compelling stage for understanding her motivation and future aspirations. Starting with such a narrative in a personal statement is an effective strategy to draw the admissions reader in and elicit a strong emotional response. A personal statement often works best when it connects a series of narrative anecdotes that collectively develop a passion, and Katelyn’s essay exemplifies this model perfectly.
Katelyn not only cited her personal experience as the foundation for her interest in law but also illustrated her journey from being a vulnerable patient to becoming an advocate for others. The detailed account of her mother's advocacy efforts and Katelyn’s subsequent actions to support her grandmother highlight her resilience and commitment to helping others. She then transitions to her present work on the Texas campaign efforts and with Global Medical Brigades, providing a current view of her ongoing dedication to effecting change in her chosen field. Her essay skillfully moves between narrative stories, avoiding a mere narrative resume and employing a “show, don’t tell” technique. This logical progression from past experiences to future aspirations creates a coherent narrative that underscores her suitability for law school.
Her essay effectively answers the questions: 'Why law?' and 'Why now?'
Katelyn’s essay concludes by articulating a clear and specific career vision: working with patients and non-profit organizations to improve medical care and advocate for universal health coverage. This demonstrates her well-thought-out plan for a legal career, resonating with admissions committees seeking focused and driven applicants. Her essay effectively answers the questions: “Why law?” and “Why now?”. By the end of her essay, it's clear why she wants to practice law, and it becomes evident that law school is the next logical step for Katelyn at this point in her career.
However, to strengthen the essay, it could have been beneficial to go into more narrative details on her recent work advocating for universal medical access and sustainable healthcare. More than half of the essay focuses on her earlier experiences with her health and her grandmother's health, leaving a gap in her narrative as a young adult. She summarizes her more recent work advocating for others in 2-3 sentences, missing an opportunity to allow the committee to see her passion and dedication through more recent narrative experiences.
Additionally, a more impactful structure in the first paragraph could enhance the essay. Cutting out the last two sentences of the first paragraph so that we go straight into “my arduous medical journey began…” after the sentence that ends with “so there was no solution in sight” would avoid repetition and give more weight to introducing her mother as the champion in the second paragraph. Knowing her mother is the hero from the start diminishes the impact of her introduction later on.
Overall, this essay is exceptionally strong. It effectively weaves together different time periods to create a cohesive and compelling narrative.
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I moved to Graz, Austria as a foreign exchange student in January 2022. Two weeks after my arrival, I sat in a train compartment with a Ukrainian family fleeing the Russian invasion. The family’s travel itinerary was written in German, a language foreign to them.Familiar with the overwhelming nature of Austrian transportation, I offered to help. I translated the German instructions into English, explained the route, and wrote down important German words to know when traveling.
After we clarified the itinerary, the family showed me photos of their home in Ukraine, and I told them about my life in Oklahoma. They informed me of their plans to relocate, and we compared the reception of refugees in Austria to that of the United States. We established an immediate connection as we all navigated a new country quite different from home. I was a student at the University of Graz, where I enrolled in courses within the Department of Law. In International Law, I analyzed the global response to the Russian invasion and studied the available legal remedies for human rights abuses. For my semester project, I presented on the role of international institutions in promoting human rights during times of conflict. Studying the relief provided by legal institutions solidified my choice to pursue a career in law.
After returning home, I worked at an immigration law firm in Oklahoma City. I maintained the firm’s physical and digital files, assisted the staff attorneys, and wrote asylum, citizenship, and legal residency briefs. The first time I filed an asylum application, I had just started my position at the firm. My boss called while I was driving home to explain that a family of five was seeking asylum. They entered the country fifty-one weeks before contacting the firm, and to apply for asylum without proving extraordinary or changed circumstances, we needed to file the application in one week.
With two of our staff attorneys on leave to study for the bar exam, I was responsible for the case. I met the family, recorded their story, and explained what the process entailed. I asked them to write affidavits, and we contacted their family members for letters of support. Over the next week, I completed the asylum application. USCIS will return a petition for any discrepancy, so I rigorously checked that the information was correct. I researched country conditions, communicated with a translator, and sifted through affidavits to write the brief detailing their credible fear of persecution. After giving it to my boss for review, the application was successfully filed before the one-year deadline. While at the firm, I managed several petitions under the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA). I filed the VAWA application for a client seeking legal residency in the United States independent of her husband. The client reported physical violence and emotional abuse, which was confirmed by medical records and a psychological evaluation. The client also disclosed her survival of an attempted kidnapping in her country of birth.
I developed an understanding of the law as an instrument for justice and protection of human rights.'
Returning to the country was not an option, and neither was remaining with her abusive partner in the U.S. I asked her to provide evidence of abuse, and in the following weeks, I analyzed text messages, phone bills, and medical records to write the VAWA brief. I filed the petition, and I am hopeful that it will be approved within the year. The cases I handled at the firm were sensitive, but assisting clients as they found safety in the United States was rewarding. I developed an understanding of the law as an instrument for justice and protection of human rights. I seek a formal legal education so that I may better serve survivors of gender-based violence.
This essay stands out because of its compelling story and clear demonstration of the applicant's dedication to law and human rights. Here are the key elements that make it successful:
Engaging Anecdote: The essay starts with a vivid scene where the applicant helps a Ukrainian family fleeing the Russian invasion. This grabs your attention and showcases the applicant's empathy and resourcefulness.
Cultural and Linguistic Adaptability: The applicant's ability to navigate a foreign country and language highlights their adaptability and quick thinking.
Academic and Practical Integration: The essay skillfully combines academic pursuits with practical experiences. Studying international law and human rights at the University of Graz provided a solid foundation, which was then applied in real-world scenarios at an immigration
law firm.
Responsibility and Impact: Handling a critical asylum case under tight deadlines, especially as a newcomer to the firm, illustrates the applicant's ability to take responsibility and achieve results under pressure.
Detailed Case Work: Managing petitions under the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) provides concrete examples of the applicant's hands-on experience.
Personal and Professional Growth: The essay shows personal growth and a clear path towards a legal career focused on human rights. Assisting clients as they found safety in the United States was rewarding and helped the applicant develop an understanding of the law as an instrument for justice and protection of human rights.
By combining personal anecdotes with professional achievements, the essay effectively conveys the applicant's passion for law, commitment to human rights, and readiness for a rigorous legal education.
Christina Chong founded the boutique firm of Renaissance Admissions Consulting to demystify admissions processes at top colleges and graduate schools in the United States. Her experiences working in admissions offices at Harvard Law School, New York University School of Law, New York University College of Dentistry, Amherst College, and University of Pennsylvania School of Social Policy & Practice have been invaluable in providing clients with expert insights on how to stand out in the admissions process.
Christina was personally admitted to the Ivy League for both college and graduate school. Her higher education expertise has resulted in client acceptances to every T14 law school. Her abilities as a former admissions officer to strategize and provide detailed feedback of materials while highlighting candidates’ strengths and aspirations have helped many clients accomplish their goals in being accepted to top colleges, dental schools for DDS/DMD, and law programs for JD and LLM. Christina is part of the Harvard Club of New York and is a professional member of the Independent Educational Consultants Association (IECA).
At the time, I wasn’t sure of my answer: “I think a good manager knows he or she doesn’t have all the answers, but does know where to look for them.” I was twenty-three and applying for a position many people didn’t think I was ready for. I felt small. The question was, “What do you think makes a good manager?” Almost seven years later, I have learned from experience that leadership is all about finding answers to difficult questions. I have worked hard to develop this ability, and now I am seeking to use it at a higher level. I see law school as the chance to make that happen.
I have been gainfully employed since I was fourteen and spent over ten years in leadership positions. Six of those years were spent managing a branch of a major national bookstore that had fifty employees and annual sales of $8 million. But those statistics don’t really tell you what I did. I answered questions. Questions such as: “Where can we find another fifteen thousand dollars in sales by tomorrow?” “Can I hire two new employees for the café?” “How can we get this employee to do his job better?” Some of my most fulfilling moments were walking through the store with a line of employees forming behind me, discussing each person’s questions and finding answers together. We’ve all had managers we listened to because we were required to, and ones we listened to because we were inspired to. When people responded to me as they did at the bookstore, it gave me hope that, at least occasionally, I was in the latter category. I look at the store now and find gratification at seeing employees I hired serving as effective leaders, and policies and procedures I established continuing to serve a new management team.
During this time I also had the great pleasure of being a stepfather. For ten years, I helped raise a little girl from the age of seven. She was an incredibly accepting stepdaughter, but let me just say, if there are lessons in patience you do not learn as a manager, you will learn them as a parent. At the bookstore my contribution was important, but it was mainly limited to that store, or at most, that company. As a parent, I helped shape how another person experienced the world. Here, I didn’t just help her make decisions. I tried to teach her how to find the answers on her own. You raise this child and attempt to give her all the tools to prepare her for a life you cannot predict. Hopefully, if you did enough things right and not too many things wrong, her life will be limited only by her own desires and not her parents’ vision.
Since that time, aided by several personal and professional changes, I decided to seek out a career in which I could apply my growing leadership skills toward a larger goal. That is what led me to give up my management position and return to school. The time I had spent in management led to a seven-year hiatus between starting and finishing my undergraduate degree. While that break may make me older and less fun than my peers, it has also given me a maturity that has served me well in my return to the university. Unlike many undergraduates, I know why I’m in school and I want to be here. I returned to school to find a forum in which I could use the leadership skills I have been developing toward a greater purpose, but I consciously did not limit my perception of what that forum might look like. I studied communication as a potential tool to effect change, and political science to be exposed to social issues that may need changing.
It may be idealistic, but I began to see the law as a means of seeking social justice using analysis and reason rather than strategy and emotion, and this felt familiar to me.
It was in a law and religion class that I found greater focus. This class examined first amendment cases involving such issues as school prayer, state voucher use for private religious schools, and religious practice rights. In reading these cases, I identified with the legal process behind the decisions. It may be idealistic, but I began to see the law as a means of seeking social justice using analysis and reason rather than strategy and emotion, and this felt familiar to me. I saw a parallel between the legal reasoning process and what I had done as a manager for so many years. I have heard it described that constitutional law is the reverse of regulatory law. While regulatory law is written by the government to dictate what the people can and cannot do, constitutional law is written by the people to regulate what the government can and cannot do. I want to play a role in the formation of decisions regarding social justice issues. Working in constitutional law would allow me to apply the skills I developed as a leader toward this goal. Just as when I was a manager, my role would be to understand the legal questions and relevant policies, and work with others to find the best answers.
At this early stage, I am drawn to the more intellectual pursuits of the law. I see myself potentially working as an appellate attorney or perhaps someday as a professor. However, as with my undergraduate schooling, I do not enter this with a specific idea of what I will do, for too specific a goal could narrow my latitude of exposure. I want to attend law school for the education, not the degree. As I study and work in the law I hope to find myself back in a familiar place—where I don’t know all the answers, but I do know where to look.
It is a near-universal experience to interview for a job you want and wonder if you answered the questions well enough to land the position. In the opening paragraph, Brian establishes a storyline in which the reader views him as an underdog and is curious of how the story unfolds. Brian comes across as someone open to learning and new experiences who is receptive to listening and taking feedback, which are qualities of a strong leader.
Brian also establishes himself as a non-traditional candidate who is ready for law school. Work experience has become even more highly valued in the last few years at top law schools. The median age for those starting law school is about 24 to 25 for the most highly ranked programs, and he demonstrates his maturity compared to most of the pool. His experience in managing a large team at a bookstore is atypical for many top law applicants, who often come from jobs such as paralegal, marketer, consultant, teacher, and business analyst. He shows investment in caring about others on his team and showing high emotional intelligence.
He draws a motif in his essay: connecting his skills in the beginning as a manager with understanding the whole picture and seeking answers to how he will approach the law in his next chapter.
As a stepfather, another role that many law applicants do not possess, he shows tenderness and wisdom in approaching this important part of his life. This can highly resonate with JD admissions committees, as many application reviewers may be parents themselves.
Brian clearly delineates how he became intrigued by constitutional law in a particular class, and how he has given thought to how he can contribute to the legal field while finishing his bachelor’s degree as an older student. He draws a motif in his essay: connecting his skills in the beginning as a manager with understanding the whole picture and seeking answers to how he will approach the law in his next chapter. The essay is limited to two pages; and he is very effective in the depth of his content despite this restriction. It is unclear if he submitted this essay before or after August 2023. Harvard Law School (HLS) significantly changed their application prompts to now require both a statement of purpose and a statement of perspective when the only previously required essay in prior cycles was a personal statement. It is now more challenging for applicants to rewrite and reformat their required HLS essays to make sure they thoroughly address each prompt without reiteration.
There are minor improvements I suggest for Brian’s essay. One is adding commas in strategic locations. Another is he uses past tense in mentioning his stepdaughter, raising questions if he is currently present in her life or still married to her parent; some clarification here would be helpful. I encourage students to focus on one or two areas of law which fascinate them to stand out, which Brian has done in this essay. I would have also mentioned activities outside of class which relate to his legal interests if possible, such as doing research or volunteering in areas such as voter rights. Brian also focuses on “unicorn” jobs which are very challenging to land after law school – such as legal academia and appellate law—the latter which requires very few lawyers in general and can be beneficial to earn a clerkship before doing this work. Nevertheless, Harvard Law School does extremely well in having students go on to earn clerkships, practice law in niche areas, or become professors.
In conclusion, Brian’s essay overall is well-written with a clear sense of purpose and self-awareness. He shows leadership as a manager in the workplace, in addition to maturity in finishing college at an older age and taking on the role of a stepfather. Since Harvard Law School’s JD program is one of the largest by enrollment, it may have more flexibility to take on non-traditional candidates compared to most other T14 schools. Brian comes across as genuine and likable, engaging the reader in learning how unusual he is compared to his peers, while highlighting areas of law in which Harvard Law School excels.