Bye Bye, Google Calendar

Honestly, I have no serious gripes with Google Calendar apart from the fact that it took me less than 200 hours to become cripplingly dependent on it. Still, I remember with fondness the days before GCal was the most referenced app on my phone, and I am more than happy to concede that it’s not for everyone. Why must it assume that all my meetings are an hour long? Why does it display overlap between events in such an ugly way? Why aren’t there more default shades of pink?

If you dare to verbalize these questions, most people will tell you that it’s just a skill issue, but we all know the truth: sometimes GCal is more trouble than it’s worth. I have now invested far too many hours to return to my offline calendar days, but if you’re interested in listening to a hypocrite, here are a few tips on kicking GCal to the curve (and still making it to your meetings on time).

Do what you love.

No, I’m not trying to sell you a pamphlet of motivational phrases. But the first step towards memorizing your calendar without sharing it with the internet overlords is minimizing the number of events you actually need to memorize. Work smarter, not harder, and all that jazz. If you keep on forgetting this one club meeting — not Flyby, never Flyby, because we love Flyby — your heart brain is probably trying to tell you something. When you enjoy the events that populate your schedule, you are far more likely to remember them. Failing that, when you miss something you enjoy, the shame/fomo/regret of forgetting is enough to remember that meeting time for the rest of your life.

Memorize your class schedule.

I’m so sorry, but if you were looking for advice on this one, I have none. This is something that you simply must do. Your professor is not going to excuse your absence from your midterm because you forgot it was happening. I promise it is far less daunting than it seems, though; once your schedule settles into monotony regularity, you’ll know it like the back of your hand.

Give yourself an off day…or three.

Trust me, if you designate a day of the week as sacred, stay-in-your-pajamas-all-day rest and relaxation time, you will never, ever forget a meeting you schedule on that day. You will be so furious with the event organizer (or yourself for filling out that when2meet wrong and not having the guts to fess up to it) for interfering with your me-time that hatred alone will move your body out of bed and to Sever Hall. Even if you tend towards more well-adjusted emotional responses, the pattern-loving heart of your hominid brain will flag that exception to the rule with so much red tape you’d have to be colorblind to miss it. Plus, it’s much easier to remember six days of events than seven.

Get it down on paper.

Once midterm season comes around, you might need to save the limited space in your brain for something other than your itinerary (even if your entire schedule is office hours). But stay strong — you don’t have to make a deal with the devil (read: Google). Just jot it down: on an index card, on your pset, or in an email you schedule-send to yourself. Savor the sight of your day-to-day life in all its horrific glory.

Text your friends.

Every once in a while, ask your friends to remind you to submit an assignment or leave in time for an event. They might very rarely remember to remind you, but the act of establishing your schedule within a social space can solidify it in the (very scary) space inside your head. Your loved ones are not appointment books, but if it works, it works.

Your worth is not at all tied to your ability to manage your life without an online calendar, but there is a special thrill that comes with knowing the ins-and-outs of your life without having to open another tab in your browser. I miss that thrill… and I miss not accidentally triple-booking myself because I forgot to log something into the machine that now controls my every waking moment. (Yeah, that one never gets less embarrassing.) So, while no one will blame you for descending into GCal oblivion, if you successfully break free, you are objectively allowed to brag about it to everyone.