Top Ten Things To Ask For On a House Mailing List

Ah, house mailing lists. The perfect place to complain, to discourse, to beg people to sign up for things because the people who organized those things asked you to do so. But it’s also the perfect place to crowdsource people who will give you things. So here are the top ten of those things… maybe you’ll find yourself in need of them!

1. A corkscrew

Yes, it makes sense that people don’t have corkscrews. If it’s not boxed, I’m not drinking it! But some of us suddenly acquire a taste for the finer things in life and need to ask for a way to get to that sweet, sweet nectar.

2. Extra furniture

It’s one thing to try to pawn it off, but I don’t know if anyone is going to see your email and go, “you know what? I don’t need my bed after all!”

3. Tape

This one is a multipurpose fave. Posters! String lights! Um… I can’t think of any other uses right now but they definitely exist.

4. An internship

Manifesting a nepo baby housemate… Especially if you’re looking to hire some #relatable #tryingtoohard #listiclewriters

5. Your key

Anybody see it around? What does it look like? Oh, you know… a key…

6. One egg

You don’t want to buy a dozen when you only need one! (Unfortunately, that’s what everyone is thinking.)

7. A Netflix password

Netflix’s new family plan restrictions didn’t account for four hundred people living in one house… just saying…

8. Votes for class marshal

My vote is SECRET and SACRED. And so is my inbox.

9. LOWERCASE LETTERS

[MOOSE] [URGENT] [ACTION REQUIRED] [DUE TONIGHT] [MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS STUCK]

10. People to comp Flyby ;)

There’s still time…