Matching the Harvard First-Year Dorms to Zodiac Signs

No criticism allowed! And before you ask, my qualifications are: yard resident, Leo sun.

CRIMSON YARD

GREENOUGH / HURLBUT: CAPRICORN

Residents of these two dorms have to put in so much more effort to go to classes or walk literally anywhere on the yard. For that, Greenough and Hurlbut get the hardest-working earth sign!

PENNYPACKER: VIRGO

En-suite bathrooms. Practical! There’s not much else to say about Pennypacker, or Virgos for that matter.

WIGGLESWORTH: PISCES

Unstable, sensitive, and easily shaken; Wigg’s unfortunate placement directly above the rattling T makes it a perfect example of piscean traits.

ELM YARD

GRAYS: SCORPIO

Grays’ architecture is strong, independent and a little intense. Traits that mirror those of everyone’s favorite sign to hate on!

MATTHEWS: SAGITTARIUS

Sagittarians are said to draw admiration from anyone who interacts with them, just like how Matthews draws in photo ops for every tourist who passes by. Sagittarians are also known to take risks, and whoever designed Matthews certainly did that with its unique and confusing layout.

WELD: CANCER

Cancers, like Weld’s huge rooms, have a lot of space inside to keep their emotions. Their many windows are perfect for gazing out of as you partake in some inner reflection. So water sign of them!

IVY YARD

APLEY COURT / HOLWORTHY : LEO

Like a Leo’s natural tendency to be drawn toward luxury, Apley Court is known for having the most lavish first year rooms. It’s only fitting to sort the best sign with the best dorm!

Holworthy definitely has a social and celebrity-like reputation, as residents can claim past alumni such as Conan O’Brien. They also have nice windows and big common rooms, perfect for entertaining guests, like the most slayful fire sign tends to do!

Xoxo, a Leo <3

HOLLIS / MASS HALL : GEMINI

Hollis has huge doubles, so obviously it has to be matched with the sign represented by the twin symbol. Alternatively, the juxtaposition between Mass Hall’s heated, beautifully furnished office space and Mass Hall’s cold, ugly living space is so Gemini personality crisis.

LIONEL: CANCER

Like a Cancer crab retreating inside its own shell, Lionel hides behind Harvard Hall. Lionel residents are cool, I guess, but you never hear much about them.

MOWER / STOUGHTON: AQUARIUS

An irrelevant sign for irrelevant dorms. Sorry, Stoughton and Mower. (Aquarian editor’s note: rude, but we at Flyby support authorial freedom… And we Aquarians support freedom of intellect… supposedly…)

STRAUS: LIBRA

Libras are known for great communication, and Straus is known for the fact that you can hear everything, even at a whisper, in the halls, rooms and around the entryways.

OAK YARD

CANADAY: ARIES

Here at Flyby, we hate Aries AND Canaday Hall. (Editor’s note: not ALL Aries’. Don’t come for us.) Not only is Canaday possibly the ugliest part of the yard, deeply infested with rats, vermin, insects, and other undesirables, but it is also riot proof (aw man!). What’s more Aries, the sign closely associated with aggression, than anti-riot architecture?

Xoxo, a Canaday Resident <3

THAYER: TAURUS

Green and practical, Thayerites claim ownership of an objectively perfect spot in the yard. Thayer is characterized by its stability (unlike Wigglesworth) and lack of drama, similar to the Taurean tendencies to avoid conflict and stick to their own path.

Be sure to really attach your identity to your first-year dorm before Housing Day comes and you can finally introduce yourself with a real dorm! Then you can check this one out…