Flyby Tries: Bush Jumping

As I come into my second semester at our small liberal arts college just outside of Boston, I feel as though I’m taking part in a modern-day renaissance. With concentrations ranging from the more established field of Folklore and Mythology to the rather-rare Econ concentrator, Harvard seems to really embrace a holistic approach to higher education. However, after hours of skimming my.Harvard, I’ve come to understand that our administration has failed. Harvard doesn’t teach a necessary life skill — bush jumping.

John Harvard’s Dictionary defines this action, a verb, as the ancient, and simple, art of running full speed towards a bush and just jumping into it. On his deathbed, John Harvard gave a share of his estate to the mission of founding a new university in Cambridge; however, I think history has lost the second part of his oral will, which was his desire for all students to appreciate (really appreciate) the nature of the area. It’s also believed to be one of the greatest things to happen to students since grapes on pizza (a breakthrough for Harvard’s culinary history). While you all may be thinking that this is 202-4-the plot, I’m a firm believer that it is 202-4-the bush jump.

Now, you all might think I’m crazy based on everything I’ve said so far, but I think bush jumping just may be the answer to your problems. Side quests are in in 2024, and bush jumping is 1) a way of connecting with nature (be thankful, ESPP Majors, I’m helping you out), 2) it takes your stress away (a primal scream adjacent feeling), and 3) it is a caffeine alternative (Cabot Cafe is stealing all my money, and my tolerance is scary high). Are you stressed because you’re Pre-Med? Jump! Mad about wasting time on a situationship? Jump! Are you really happy about your teacher canceling class? Jump! What’s to lose?!

When I hopefully enter the workforce one day (consulting like every other person, obviously), I will undoubtedly still have a crippling caffeine addiction, be expected to know how to color code in Excel, and how to add an animation on a PowerPoint slide. But, I will have something that the average Yalie doesn’t have — my bush jumping skills. It has brought me to unimaginable heights thus far, and it continues to make me who I am, and if you want to make the most of your college experience, experimentation with the limits of nature are essential.

Now that I’ve filled you in on my latest craze, let me tell you where to bush jump on campus (make sure to BUNDLE UP to avoid any injury, please):

1. Cabot House

The impressive Cabot jump. By Daniel Morales Rosales

Now listen, folks, I'm not usually one to sing praises about the Quad, BUT there's a hidden gem tucked far away from the prying eyes of tourists – the bushes! While Currier may flaunt its tree mascot, the best bush on campus is right in front of Cabot Entryway E — it's something of legend. With the perfect stick-to-leaf ratio, it offers a little bounce upon impact, and it is large enough for you to jump into it with friends. I mean COME ON, it doesn’t get better.

2. Eliot

Eliot's bush jump is not for the faint of heart. By Daniel Morales Rosales

On the corner of JFK and Memorial, Eliot doesn’t just have a great green dome, they have a top two bush to jump into on campus. Nestled right on the corner of the intersection (just outside their backdoor access), this bush clearly hasn’t received enough attention in its lifetime. Though this area is heavily trafficked, this jump isn’t for the faint of heart, and a “can do” attitude is necessary. I believe that if the Quad hadn’t come into the picture, this would be the number one pick.

3. The Freshman Quad

Face-first might not be the move. By Daniel Morales Rosales

While some people may have never seen this mythical area that contains Greenough, Hurlbut, and Pennypacker, they have some serious hedges. They are lower to the ground than the average bush on campus, and the stick-to-leaf ratio of the bushes isn’t to be questioned. This is the only time I’d recommend possibly switching up jumping form due to the level of the bushes — face-first might not be the move. The first-years may be in the trenches work-wise, but they definitely have ample potential due to the bushes they have on their side.

4. The Kennedy School

I’m going to put the bushes in the HKS Courtyard on the list because they were very impressive, and as someone who never really ventured to explore the space, I was really impressed. The bush, located towards the center of the park, really gave a graduate school aesthetic — it had gusto and a good stick-to-leaf ratio, which really cemented itself on this list. A friend described this bush, which was her first jump ever, as “enlightening.”

5. Honorable Mention: Leverett

River bushes are pretty disappointing. By Daniel Morales Rosales

I’m going to be honest, this is a pity add for those down by the river. Behind the G-Hutch of the towers, there are some wispy bushes that were the best thing I could find, which was the best reflection of the bush jumping culture of the nine river Houses — disappointing to say the least. I recommend channeling your inner football player and running full speed to tackle the bush, which hardly counts as a jump. Freshmen, take some time to seriously consider if you want the river lifestyle — the access to jumpable bushes is limited.

I highly recommend that you find the time to try this enlightening practice out around campus and make the most of your second semester, and nature — jump into the bush for truth.