Dear Flyby, How Do You Get Them Out of Your Head?

You asked — we answered. Okay no one really asked, except for my roommate and maybe me, asking myself. Do you find yourself sitting in the dhall for the entirety of the time it’s open for dinner so that you can authentically meet that one person you’re thinking of even right now? Perhaps it’s the person you really just want to call and blurt out that you’re in love with them…but that would be an issue considering you only met last week. Whatever the case may be, your roommates and the entire world want to talk to you without you glancing left and right to catch a glimpse of that special someone.

DON’T: wait for them to come join you in the dhall.

Don’t pretend to do homework in the dhall from the second it opens until they walk in, only to then ask them to grab that meal with you. You have better things to do than sit there and think about them while everyone else is getting the new HUDS grill specials.

DO: travel all the way to the SEC — out of sight, out of mind this person.

Unless they’re taking all of their classes in the SEC, it’s pretty safe to say that spending a day here means you have limited chances of running in with them. Avoid the Yard at all costs and any of the River houses. Maybe you’ll get the chance to think about something that isn’t them (like all the new Trader Joe’s snacks).

DON’T: stalk them on social media.

If you want to stop thinking about them, it definitely isn’t the best idea to find their last 10 exes or their mom’s coworker’s aunt’s neighbor’s address. It also would not be the most advisable to find out their star sign and start calculating how compatible the two of you may or may not be.

DO: set up your Datamatch account.

It may be time to meet new people. Whether friends or lovers, Datamatch can help you find the one for you — let the algorithm do its thing and find you the next person you may be reading advice for hanging out with for a super platonic walk around the Square.

DON’T: call them… or text them… and definitely not at 2 a.m.

The best trick I ever learned was changing their contact number to your own phone number. That’s right, go ahead and call them. It won’t lead to anyone but you. No more texting that ex at 2 a.m. or the potential person that you could kinda see yourself dating down the hall.

DO: call your parents.

You know what’s a great thing to do? Call home. Call your parents or your siblings. Let them ask you how you’re doing and maybe, you can even let them nag you. If you’re completely showered by love (or complaints), you hopefully won’t have the mental capacity to think about your crush/the one that got away/the situationship you need answers to.

DON’T: watch that one clip of you two.

Do not rewatch that one clip your friend took of you and them at that one party last week. They weren’t looking at you with puppy dog eyes, they were making sure you wouldn’t step on their new shoes as you tripped down the hall.

DO: watch a rom com.

Consider watching He’s Just Not That Into You, Valentine’s Day, or When Harry Met Sally. Pop some popcorn, call your roomies down to the common room, huddle around that one 13” laptop screen and immerse yourself in the movie completely.

DON’T: apply to the research village just because they’re applying to it.

The entire time you’re applying to PRIMO, SHARP, or [insert one of the many other research programs], you’ll be thinking about how nice it would be to grab a meal together by the river after a long day of doing…research? With that said, don’t apply to any of your internships based on the location you think they may be this summer. That will not get them out of your head.

DO: your pset.

If you’re crying about Chem 27, you can’t be thinking about them. At least, you really shouldn’t be. Go to office hours, re-watch the lecture, and call someone who can help you understand arrow pushing (no, not cupid arrows). You don’t need them — you need to submit this pset by 8:59 a.m.

DO: get out of the situationship.

The way to get out of the situationship is painfully simple. Have a conversation with them, talk about what they’re looking for and what you’re thinking about. On second thought…yeah…maybe don’t do this one.

If you make sure to follow all of these Do’s and Don’ts, you’ll probably still be thinking about them surely get them out of your head. While it isn’t always easy to snap out of it, we promise there are better things to think about at 4 a.m. (and 4 p.m.) than what that person may be doing right now. For example, you could…you could…you could?