How To: Pretend You Didn’t Recognize Someone (Without Looking Like a Total Jerk)

We’ve all been there. It’s been a long day, you’re tired, you’re hangry, you just want to walk in peace with zero interruptions. But alas, you have friends! You run into people everywhere you go, from your freshman year roommate to that kid from last semester’s Gen Ed section who you vaguely nod at.

Some days, it’s okay to not be in the mood to smile and wave. So, Flyby is here to tell you how to do it with the least feelings hurt! Unless, of course, you’re trying to shake that acquaintance. In that case, proceed to the last option.

Headphones In, Main Character Moment

As the Main CharacterTM, you are too busy listening to the soundtrack of your life and pondering the many woeful turns your semester is taking to recognize the extras passing by on the street. So pop in those headphones (maybe tuck that hair back so your AirPods are visible to the audience) and dance your way through life without having to hear anyone shout out an unwelcome hello!

The Cobblestone Hobble

Works best where the sidewalk bricks are trashed, so basically anywhere near the upperclassman dorms. Stare at your feet, pretend you’re going to trip if you don’t stare intently at the ground, because you actually might. No one can fault you there!

Feign Poor Eyesight

This one is for my glasses-wearing girlies and gentlemen out there. Just take them off! If your friends are used to seeing you with them on, they’ll instantly notice that you don’t have glasses on and thus won’t acknowledge them. Bonus points for this one since you probably actually won’t be able to recognize them. Extra bonus points if people are so used to your glasses that they don’t recognize you.

Pick Up a ‘Phone Call’

…or actually make one, if you feel awkward holding a phone to your ear with no one on the other end. If someone recognizes you but sees you’re on an oh-so-important phone call, they’ll leave you well alone. What if it’s a career-changing call? Or your mother? Crisis averted!

Text Someone (Or type aggressively on your notes app so it seems like you have important conversations to attend to)

Everyone ever has had a moment where they start texting or scrolling just to seem like they’re doing something. I’m a frequent offender myself, if we’re being honest. Just use this method when you spot someone coming, and then keep walking by without looking up or making eye contact. Works like a charm ;)

Be Assertive. Make Eye Contact. Then Look Away.

Okay, this one might make you look like a jerk. But if your day is bad enough to the point where you can look someone you know in the eye, and choose not to acknowledge them, then I’m sure they will find it within themselves to forgive you. Maybe shoot them an apology text later though.

That’s all we have for you today! Keep these tips and tricks up your sleeve for a rainy day, and if you offend someone in the process, well, you didn’t get the idea from us.