How To: Spot a Pre-Frosh During Visitas 2022

Since the Yard will soon be infected swarmed with ambitious 17-year-olds trying to make their way to Jefe’s and The Coop without using Google Maps, here’s Flyby’s ultimate guide on how to instantly recognize next year’s class of consulting group compers and HUA first year reps — oh wait, is that even a thing? Does anyone know? HUA reps — a little help here?

The Crimson Letter (a.k.a The Lanyard)

I can't say anything because I fully use mine, but any lanyard on someone who appears genuinely happy to be on campus makes them an automatic pre-frosh. Us real students have been hardened by the humbling experience that is college and HUDS food.

Jefe’s Brown Paper Bag

I know the whole point is to post on Snap with the caption “first of many jefes runs to come” at 1 a.m. but, please, save your money. The Mexican in me slowly dies every time I see one of these bags.

Anyone Who Doesn't Have a Mask

#keepharvardhealthy

Excessively Heavy Winter Coats

Yes, it's still cold but put the Goose away – don't you know it’s turkey time now?

An Unnecessary Amount of Harvard Regalia

POV: Someone's daddy gave them his credit card. FYI,^he didnt mean for you to buy a Veritas shot glass though. Looks like my IG feed is just going to be Coop sweaters soon - roll crim? I'm going to be seeing 192992 sweaters from the Coop on my IG feed soon

Taking Pictures of/Selfies in Front of Everything

Disrespectfully: get out of my way. Some of us have to trek to Northwest Building for their 9 a.m. LS1B section. Do you really need to take a picture of the trash cans outside the Science Center?

Almost Getting Run Over by a Scooter

You know who you are. We hate to break it to you, but this problem doesn’t get better as a real Harvard student.

Excitedly Crowding Around the John Harvard Statue

If you're gonna pee on it, just do it. We don't care. True overachievers finish the three Harvard traditions before they even become Harvard students.

If you see anyone who meets these descriptions, feel free to have a little fun with them — with finals season approaching, we deserve any entertainment we can get our hands on. I’ll be telling them what I tell every tour group I come across: “Do not come!” “Save your money!” “It’s not worth it!!” After all, do they really want to commit themselves to four years of eating Red’s Best Catch? When you think about it, we’re really doing these pre-frosh a favor. You’re welcome.