Flyby Ranks: Absurd Things That Have Happened in Tasty Basty

Every Ivy parties in…how should I say this…its own particularly interesting way. Dartmouth throws underground parties — cool. Princeton opts for their eating clubs — bougie, I guess? Cornell and Penn attempt to live up to their state school rep with good ol’ greek life — basic. (And Brown has intentionally been omitted due to lack of information because,,, yeah). To each their own, but if we’re being honest here, we have something that all of our so-called competitors are truly missing out on. And no way am I talking about Harvard’s final clubs — we’re talking Tasty Basty.

So what is Tasty Basty, you ask? If you don’t know, either you’ve been hiding under a rock or you just got to campus (hey first-years <3). Tasty Basty, otherwise known as The Tasty Burger Basement, is Harvard’s newest glorious landmark. With its musty aromatic scent, filthy sparkling floors, and overall absurdity grandeur, this go-to party spot on 40 JFK Street is pretty top-notch.

Outside of the typical DFMOs, sweaty basement mosh pits, and the infamous electric shuttle incident of Spring 2022, let’s recap the most absurd things that have happened in Tasty Basty.

1. “Visitasty”

Indicators of Spring at Harvard: rain pouring, flowers blooming, and Visitas children flooding campus. In order to maximize this “welcome to Harvard—please come here” experience last spring, Tasty Burger basement hosted a rager. What more could a pre-frosh want than paying a $5 entrance fee for a moist basement filled with future classmates?!?!??! I heard this one was incredible. I’m just so sad to have missed this epic Tuesday throwdown. </3

2. The Harvard Rowing Team Takeover

POV: you spend more time in the basement of a fast food restaurant than on the Charles practicing your sport. The rowing team has basically claimed Tasty Basty as their own They even went so far as to create Tasty Burger-themed merch with their very own genius slogan, TBBBC – “Tasty Burger Basement Boatclub.” Kk.

3. My Halloween Experience

Let’s set the stage: Tasty Burger basement. Halloween night. A mild 101℉. The rowers threw, the student body gathered, and everyone dressed up. Most people sported cute costumes with minimal fabric. Others took a more dressing-up-is-suggested-but-not-required stance. I, however, was dressed to the nines (not). To compliment my beloved upperclassman teammate going as the Disney princess, Belle, I was required to attend TBB Halloween as the Beast……. wearing a hot, full-length, thick fur onesie paired with a shaggy wig, sideburns, and a painted-on unibrow and beard. I knew it was bad when my casual “Hey guys!” was met with screams and questions such as, “Uh do you even go here???”

4. Having an actual meal in Tasty Burger

A rare occurrence. I’d bet my $5 entrance fee 10 bucks you haven’t done it.