The Seven Types of Harvard Students at the Gym

From Hemmingway to the MAC and QRAC, there are countless Harvard students getting their life together by working out and prioritizing their health. But not every student is the same. In fact, after spending a week-ish watching people at the gym (nope, not creepy at all), Flyby has done all of the work so you don’t have to — here are seven types of Harvard students you’re bound to run into at the gym.

1. The Senior/The Hottie

This person knows what they’re doing. They have all of their workouts listed on their phone in one of their six health/fitness related apps. And yes, they have abs and calves we can only dream of. They’re most likely your gym crush and radiating senior who has their shit together energy.

2. The Hoggers

I really don’t know why they won’t share the weights. No clue why they have to use the same machine for an hour, only to switch to another machine and sweat all over that one for an hour too. No queue of people waiting for the treadmill or disappointed glances can shake a hogger who will do exactly what they set out to do — with a protein shake in hand.

3. The Mirror-Obsessed

These people are always checking themselves out — but can we blame them? We all love a good progress photo or two. The problem begins when they start to think that everyone at the gym is also obsessed with them. Or when they start trying to pick up dates. As you’re on the treadmill. Nexxxxxt!

4. The Multi-Taskers

I don’t think this is safe, but I’ve seen multiple students read books while exercising. Yes, I’m talking about flipping through text books while running on the treadmill. Most commonly seen in Hemenway, the law school gym, the multi-taskers can also be seen catching up on shows or assigned movies for their seminars while burning off that day's calories. While not safe, one can agree that Harvard students know how to maximize their time efficiently.

5. The Sleepers

It always starts with a prolonged closing of the eyes — a long-lasting blink at best. Then, the blink turns into a little “let me take a quick cat-nap on the treadmill.” This inevitably turns into a full, deep slumber... So far, we’ve witnessed at least two people snoring on the elliptical.

6. The People Watchers

Us. Flyby. And perhaps everyone who is looking to get cuffed this semester (or even a senior thesis writer). All these people want to do is just get to know what everyone is doing and why, but actually exercising? That’s debatable.

7. You (Our Fave)

You at the gym is a possibility or maybe it’s already a reality. Perhaps we stalked you this week, or maybe we didn’t. Not to put any pressure on you, but we hope if you decide to go to the gym, you go well-rested, work out using the machines respectfully, or just go people watch — that’s okay too.

Yeah, we’re not sure if we’ll return to the gym again either. But, at least you’ll know what to expect if you decide to, you know, hit the gym.