A Harvard Student's Guide to Tinder... in a Pandemic
Harvard is known for many things. Among them, a mascot that is quite literally a shade of color, Mark E. Zuckerberg â06, and a notoriously piss-stained statue. Most notably, though, it seems Harvard is known for its infamous dating culture â or rather, lack of. And letâs face it, the pandemic hasnât made things any easier. So how does one go about finding a partner now, especially with Valentineâs Day coming up? For many, (and you presumably, seeing as youâre reading an article titled âA Harvard Studentâs Guide to Tinderâ) Tinder is their go-to. So go ahead and download it right now, avid reader.
...Go ahead, weâre waiting.
Photos
Gotta get those good shots! Hereâs an ideal formula for pictures: Make sure to have at least one of you alone. When you do pose with your friends, try not to pose with any of your friends that look like Ryan Reynolds or Margot Robbie. That never seems to work well, for obvious reasons. (Figure it out, youâre a Harvard student.) Speaking of which, please donât have any pictures that scream âI go to Harvard!â Save that Coop sweatshirt, socks, scarf, and hat for another day. And a note worth considering â leave out the fish pictures. Just do it, youâll thank us later.
Bio
Keep it short but witty, something that people can use if they decide to message you. Try going with a fun fact or pun, and maybe even go down the pro/con route. Iâd tell you to put something interesting about yourself to find people with similar interests, but letâs be honest, if youâre on Tinder, youâre not really looking for a long-term relationship. For that, wait until Flybyâs âA Harvard Studentâs Guide to Bumble in a Pandemicâ comes out.
If youâre in a plagiarizing mood, take your pick:
- âRed flags start looking orange when their Linkedin says 500+â
- âOnly on here cause my Craigslist dates were going poorlyâ
- âWhat do you call a potato that does yoga? A medi-tater. Pro: makes dad jokes. Con: makes dad jokes.â
Pick-Up Lines
Well, youâve matched with somebody! What will you do now? If youâre going to message first, you have to make a good first impression. Try making a joke about one of their pictures or their bio. If that doesnât work for you, hereâs a handy list of good pick up lines to use at your will:
- For the corny: Are you a parking ticket? Because youâve got FINE written all over you.
- For those who have left the Harvard bubble: Canât lie, you are BUtiful!
- For the ~spicy~: I thought my psets were hard, but looking at you has made something else harder.
Asking Them Out
Say your pick up line was a smashing success (thanks, Flyby!) and the conversationâs been going well. Youâve even exchanged pictures of your dogs, and several winky faces have worked their way into the chat. How do you go about taking the next step and meeting up in person? (Six feet apart, of course.) Just be casual! A simple âwant to marry me?â will suffice just fine. If they say no, well, then, it clearly just wasnât meant to be.
The Date
They said yes! What now? First of all, donât forget weâre still living in the midst of a pandemic, so put that mask on. Just make sure youâre meeting the right person⌠we all know youâve accidentally jumped into conversation with strangers thinking they were someone else when wearing their masks.
Next, try to establish some boundaries. Have you both been tested for Covid within the past few days? Are either of you immuno-compromised/have at-risk family members youâre seeing regularly? Since you donât ~really~ know this person, opt for something more pandemic-friendly on the first date, such as a romantic picnic in the Yard surrounded by tourists for a bit of extra ambience. Impress them with your dorm microwave cooking skills (soggy grilled cheese anyone?), or if youâre not feeling quite that brave, opt for some takeout. Who knows, maybe if things go well you might even end up getting some dessert ;)
So, everything actually goes well and you have a great time with this person! First of all, pat yourself on the back. You have perfectly followed Flybyâs Tinder guide, and won the pandemic dating game. Seriously, thatâs quite the feat. But also, keep up with everything youâve been doing so far! Donât ghost them because youâre getting serious with your math pset, since theyâll think you lost interest. (Itâs okay we get it, partial derivatives turn you on). And make sure you get their phone number so youâre not chatting exclusively over the glitchy Tinder app, where theyâre constantly reminded of other potential matches. Who knows, maybe you can have a few romantic Zoom study dates sometime. The future is in your hands now <3