Love It/Hate It: Harvard Turkeys

Love It: My Entertainment on the Way to the Writing Center - Hailey Krasnikov

Listen, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t concerned about the turkeys attacking me. I will also admit that I wait for them to waddle at least 10 feet away before walking through the gate into the Yard. But the turkeys are also free entertainment. My walks to the Writing Center would be gloomy without them. Nothing more incredible seeing a turkey standing in the road, unphased, while a car is honking at it. Anything brave enough to stand up to a Boston driver has my utmost respect. And it’s impossible not to find bikers having to swerve around the turkeys at least a little funny. They own Mass. Ave. — no question about it.

But the entertainment isn’t all the turkeys have to offer. You know that awkward moment when someone is walking in the opposite direction as you and you have that help-which-direction-do-I-go-in face off and then stare at them in panic? Enter the turkeys: a welcome distraction giving you something to look at, so you can quickly break eye contact and pass by that person!

It happened to me just last week. Imagine this: You’re walking back from the Writing Center after the tutor just tore up your entire paper (not literally, but it hurt just as much) and now you’re a little sad. And now there’s a stranger that you keep making eye contact with walking towards you. Fear not! The turkeys that have no common sense are here! And just like that you see a turkey fan its feathers out. You forget about your paper and avoid awkward eye contact with the person walking by you because you’re too busy appreciating your turkey in all its glory. Blessed be the turkeys. But, hey, edit that paper ASAP.

Hate It: Getting Chased on my Way to the Writing Center - Hayeon “Rachel” Ok

My worst nightmare is getting chased by a turkey. Imagine casually walking down Mass. Ave. when a gobbling figure comes speeding towards you (not unlike the deadline on your CS pset, get that done!!). I once had a scarring experience of seeing a turkey chase down a tourist despite their best efforts to scare it off. Perhaps turkeys are good for controlling the number of tourists on campus, but I still shudder to imagine myself in that situation. It’s especially frightening when a crowd of turkeys is wandering about, seemingly conspiring on how best to choose their next victim.

Imagine the Writing Center scenario again: you are walking back to your dorm after hearing harsh criticism about your paper when you see a turkey heading in your direction. In addition to fearing for your grade, you now have to fear for your life.

Also, there’s something disturbing about seeing a turkey walk by on your way to the dhall and then seeing one again on your plate during lunch. Of course, that’s not a true reason to hate turkeys (maybe they’re so fast because they’ve had practice running from HUDS…), but a strange feeling arises from seeing a live and deceased turkey within minutes from each other.