Let's Talk About the Showers in Maxwell Dworkin

On beautiful Oxford Street stands Maxwell Dworkin, named after the mothers of two famous nerds: Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer. For some, the postmodern building simply serves as another shuttle stop. But for most engineering and computer science students, it is a temple overflowing with manna—mostly free cookies and ice cream—and Malan. Still, considering that these students often face the vicious stereotype of being unhygienic, unkempt, and musty, it is interesting that showers were discovered in MD. In an attempt to demystify this, Flyby investigated the showers.

By Catarina T. Do

(Debunked) Not for Safety

Everyone knows that the chemistry and biology researchers live in McKay and LISE—not MD. They keep their carcinogens and bunsen-burn-down-a-building burners responsibly stored far away from Maxwell Dworkin. The only toxic fumes that MD contains come from soldering irons, cutting fluid, and a lack of self-care/hygiene among the students who live there.

(Debunked) Just as Crappy as The Rest

It was suggested that a senior, in honor of completing their final project, tried to create a cutting-edge shower in MD, complete with the most bougie ergonomic body jets. Upon inspection, however, the shower stall is only as high-tech as the ones you’d find in any freshman dorm.

(Debunked) Not for Rent

This one is just offensively wrong. Unlike almost every European establishment, SEAS would never resort to having students pay to use the toilets and showers. It’s not as though they’d make any money, anyways.

At the end of the day, it’s time to call a spade a spade. The showers at Maxwell Dworkin exist because people need to shower.

Duh.