Sh*t Freshmen Say At Brain Break

Ah, freshmen. They run around campus, perpetually late to class even with Harvard time, lanyards swinging wildly around their necks. (Keys have hit faces. They’re learning.) They say parties they went to were “lit af” when really, 20 people got shoved in a tiny space with citrus-flavored vodka, only to be kicked out by a proctor shortly thereafter and forced to pour any remaining dregs of libations down the drain. The freshman experience can be decidedly unglamorous.

Carb-loading at 10 p.m. before starting a p-set that’s due the next day, though? Absolutely clutch. Here are a few snippets of conversations taken completely out of context from Brain Break at Annenberg.

Freshman Boys vs. Grilled Cheese Crusts
“You’re not eating the crust?!”
“No.”
“But how can you even tell it’s the crust?”
“Because it’s so much harder!”
“No it isn’t!”
Cue comparison of crunching sounds while biting into the “crust” of respective grilled cheese sandwiches.

The Math Pun of Doom
“Well, I have to get back to the grind…the integrind…integral…”

Following Facebook Drama
“Oh, is that the guy that everyone hates?”

What School Do You Go to Again?
“[The movie]’s about this girl who’s thinking about running away to marry a boy nun.”
“A boy nun?”
“…Yeah?”
“Do you mean a monk?”
“Oh sh*t, true, yeah.”
“You sure you go to Harvard?”

Contextualized Out of Context
“Keep in mind this is an African Jew at a black party…”

Political Wrecking Ball?
“Do you want to build balls over bridges? Walls over bridges? Whatever, you know what I mean. F*ck Trump.”

This. Is. Disillusionment.
“I mean, if you think about it, CS50 p-sets are really beautiful.”
Cue snorts of disbelief.

Relationship Status? It’s Complicated.
“But you’re not together right?”
“No, we’re like, friends, but we’ve like, hooked up a few times. We haven’t had sex though; I don’t think I want to.”
“So you’re like FWLB. Friends With Limited Benefits.”
“Yes! Exactly!”

Keep an eye out for more freshman ~witticisms~ as the year goes on. Stay weird, Class of 2021.