Thoughts the First Week Back from Break

Primarily dark, stormy thoughts. By Kathryn S. Kuhar

We’re all back from break (even those who extended their vacation into Shopping Week, I hope), and everything is starting up again faster than Usain Bolt on a pre-final dose of speed. Here are some things that are bound to have crossed your mind.

Welp. I did nothing.

Except binge-watched Netflix all day, ate chips in bed, then slept for sixteen hours. Hello, thirty internship/funding applications I haven’t done yet!

Well, maybe there was that one thing.

Controlling ants with sticks like you were their sadistic, malevolent god was pretty fun. And productive...what are you looking at? It’s insect behavior research!

Why is everyone here so slow?

They talk slow. They walk slow. They eat slow. They even breathe slow. How the hell are you supposed to get to a class that’s ten minutes away in two minutes with a gaggle of freshmen walking four-across one of those narrow Yard paths?

I am an alcoholic.

Okay, remember when you told your parents “I’m not drinking for the rest of my life?” Right. You meant until you got back to college. Tell yourself that you’re not drinking yourself to death when you’re eight shots into a handle of vodka by 6 p.m. and drunk-calling your ex who cheated on you with your blockmate.

I love school!

The people that surround you every day, the classes, the atmosphere, being in Boston—what more could someone ask for?

Jk...I hate school.

The people that surround you every day, the classes, the atmosphere, being in Boston—why the hell did I come back?

Where’s the home-cooked food?

Apparently, El Jefe’s can’t fill the constantly growing void in your heart and soul like your mom’s home-cooked food can. Keep eating Cool Ranch Doritos for dinner. But they’ll never be good enough.

When’s the next break?

I can’t take this anymore. Get me out of here.