Posts You're Bound to See in Your Class Facebook Group
Class Facebook groups are either hilarious or cringe-inducing. There doesn't seem to be an in-between. Just think about it: it's that time of night again, you have absolutely nothing else you could possibly do to procrastinate on that Ec p-set, so you pay a quick visit to the Facebook page. You think: this time I will find some quality content.
Think again! Here are the types of posts you're most likely to encounter here
Introducing Me
Hi! My nameās [insert quirky name], and hereās a picture of my ugly dog. Alternatively, hereās some random dog thatās clearly not mine since I donāt know even know its name. Iām posting because I canāt stand the idea of being excluded from anything! Iām from a small town in Iowa you definitely havenāt heard of. Or Iām from New York (the ācityā part is implicit).
Iāve been doing this eccentric thing with my spare time since I was just a year oldāI put it down on my application, so I might as well put it down here to make sure all of you know Iām a prodigy. I also love saying that I love running, walking, hiking, or any other physical activity. I say I procrastinate all the time, even though I drafted this post before I even got in. I canāt wait to meet all of you, hook up with a few of you, and then promptly forget all of your names!
Just A Good Friend
(Posting for a friend, so donāt judge me for spamming the entire class with crap that people care less about than their roommateās sleep when a āfriendā comes over for the night!) Do you want a sweatshirt with Dean Khurana eating from a bag of plain pistachios on it? No? Well, our crappy marketing team sure thinks so! Come to this obscure hall at this time when everyoneāincluding meāis busy to leave their rooms.
PSA
Hey everyone, hereās a reminder about something important that might actually be useful for those slackers out there. Of course, Iām not doing this because I actually care about you. I just want yāall to know just how organized and helpful I am, so that you affectionately call me āmomā or ādadā and want to be my friend. Cheers! (Also, please like my post and constantly bump it, thanks.)
The āPoorā Concert Goer
Anyone wanna go to the [insert musician name] concert? Tickets are only like, a couple hundred dollars, and I absolutely love their music. Be my concert buddy! P.S. You will see me complaining about being a broke college student on every other post.
The Club Climber
Hey everyone, thereās this really cool event thatās happening tomorrow, and I swear itās not something that Iām connected to. Whatās that, I just want brownie points with my club? No way! This is a valuable experience thatās definitely worth your time. But if they ask you how you found out about the event, make sure to drop my name.
Lost and Found
I just lost this important item that no one will ever see again. If youāre lucky Iāll have a picture, but most of the time Iāll just give a vague description. This post will be constantly bumped by my friends making fun of me. Alternatively: I just found this important-looking thing, are any of you the owner? I know no one will actually see this post or care about the lost item, but I just wanted to remind myself what a good person I am.