Why is Kerry Washington REALLY on Campus?

“It’s Handled”...but Flyby has no idea what “it” is. Kerry Washington, known for her role as Olivia Pope in the hit political drama Scandal, was recently named Woman of the Year by the Hasty Pudding Theatrical Company. Today, she is coming to campus to accept her award.

Or is she?

Olivia Pope is known as Washington D.C’s top fixer—a handler that makes the problems of some of D.C’s richest and most powerful players go away, often with an intense monologue, a twirl of the white coat and, if it’s Fitz she’s dealing with, a trademark quiver of the lip. And she’s been known to do it under pretense, hiding the real reason why she is at a place at any given time.

Flyby has a sneaking suspicion that she’s here to “fix” something at Harvard. After all, this week has been ripe with news: recently, the College abruptly announced that Dean Lassonde was leaving his position as Dean of Student Life at Harvard. For people who were thinking about shopping his class about childhood in America this semester, this announcement was true shock. We suspect that Olivia Pope is working behind the scenes to keep the campus from learning about the real reason behind Lassonde’s decision. Could it be that he is going to *gasp* Yale? Or is it something simpler? Maybe Lassonde was simply not impressed with HUDS after they added new flavored water dispensers in the Houses.

Or maybe it has nothing to do with Lassonde at all. Last night, undergraduates across the campus were bombarded with emails from a mysterious “Harvard Leads 2016” account. Admittedly, most of the emails were students who still don’t quite understand that replying to a random email list is not the best way to get taken of it. Flyby suspects that the email account was a bot sent by members of the clandestine organization B613 to expose the, shall we say, lapses in the technological education of some of the nation’s top students.

Pomp, circumstance and parades are nice, but Flyby wants to know what’s cooking behind the scenes. After all, if anything needs to be “handled,” it’s the ever-fallible my.harvard system...hopefully before study card day comes around.