Things Harvard Should Ban (Instead of Hard Liquor)

By Sarah P Reid

This week, Dartmouth announced plans to ban hard liquor on campus in an effort to promote student safety. But have no fear, Flyby readers– your Rubinoff is safe. Harvard administrators seem to have no intention of jeopardizing your weekend pregaming plans. There are, however, a few things detrimental to student health that Harvard should consider banning:

9 am classes
While I’ve never actually taken a class that started before 10 am (and haven’t actually gone to a lecture that started before 11), apparently there are classes that start at *9 am*. Is the sun even up that early? Come on, Harvard, take pity on the poor students taking Chem 20 (isn’t their life hard enough already?) and Ec 1010b– get rid of 9 ams. Let the people sleep.

Lamont Odor
This distinctive scent is a unique mix of desperation, stale coffee, and the body odor of Lamonsters who have been inside the library for days on end. It hits you the minute you walk in, and it’s disgusting. Not entirely sure how the University can fix this one (giant scented candles? free deodorant upon entry?) but someone should really get on this.

Summer Applications
Can’t we all as a group decide not to freak out about our summer plans until the temperatures rise above freezing? No one wants to spend J-term (or shopping week) trying to expand “my interest in this program is that it’s my backup” to 250 words for multiple programs.

Swai
Actually, the HUDS staple is soon to be no more. According to former UC Vice President Sietse K. Goffard ‘15 in a Facebook comment, after a meeting with the UC’s HUDS committee last semester, HUDS “will be phasing out the swai drastically in exchange for [the] rotating Catch of the Day, which will feature 6 different types of fish.” Thanks, Gus and Sietse!