The Quickest Route to Your TF's Heart

It is that time of year: finals season. The ship has sailed on actually understanding any of the material. You're regretting all that time you spent collaborating, but don’t worry. All hope is not lost. There is one way that you can still pass. You are going to have to make your TF love you. I’m not talking about a nod as you pass by; I’m talking about self-giving love, in Greek, Agape.

How does one do this? That’s a natural question to be asking yourself at this point in the conversation. Have no fear. First things first: go to your review session, actually go. Going to something not required is a sign of commitment. Now, you're at the review session, what do you do? You could ask questions. That’s a risk. You might end up letting on the fact that you have no idea what’s going on. Here’s the safe bet. Just keep nodding. Nod apologetically like you are in complete agreement and have actually been thinking just that for a long while.

Phase two: eye contact. Make direct eye contact with your TF. Whatever you do, don’t stop staring. This will make you memorable. Next step, is helping your TF remember your name. How to do that? For athletes, this will be easy. Just wear a jersey or something with you name on it. For the rest of us who are going to go to the gym tomorrow because we’re too busy today, the easiest thing to do would be to go on a custom manufacturing website and have a sweatshirt made with your name on it.

The final step: The end of the review session. Now, as you're walking out, take out your phone, pretend to start laughing hysterically as you walk by your TF. Then, apologize and tell your TF a joke, and pretend that was what you were laughing about.

If he or she laughs, start begging for an answer from the final. If the joke falls flat, 1) panic, 2) curl up in fetal position and cry, and 3) don’t stop until you either pass the final or Harvard closes for holiday.