How They Should Really Change the SAT

By Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

The internet has been ablaze this week with news of the SAT undergoing some serious changes. The changes include cutting the penalty for incorrect guessing, eliminating esoteric vocabulary words (ha), and making the essay optional. Good start, College Board, but here are some suggestions to complete the overhaul.

1. No SAT

The easiest improvement to the test would just be to eliminate it.The only people who think the SAT isn’t nonsense are people who scored a 1400+ or 2100+, and even they realize by the end of college (hell, by the end of freshman fall) that their high test scores don’t matter. Like, at all.

2. A “street-smarts” section

If they won’t eliminate the SAT, they should at least make it more applicable to students’ lives in the “real world.” Do students know how to perform an ocular patdown? Do students have a general idea of how to dress for an interview? These are important questions, folks. Life, death, and career opportunities are on the line.

3. Administer (mild?) electric shocks as the students work

Being able to work is being able to work under pressure.

4. Cultural references

This could include movies from the past few years, top-40 songs, Hollywood relationships, etc. Do colleges really want book-worms to make up the majority of their campus? (Answer: probably, but it would be hilarious to see some nerdy kid get back his 350 on Cultural Reasoning and have a breakdown.)

5. “Cheat temptations”

On, say, one out of every 100 examinations, put in a really official looking packet, sealed in plastic, labeled “SAT 2015 Answer Key - DO NOT open until all tests have been completed and handed in.” If the student opens the packet, it just says “ELIMINATION” in bold, blood-red letters. Better luck next time, you rascal.

The SAT, as it stands, is hardly a reflection of high school learning OR cultural/societal learning (alright, so maybe a bit of both). The College Board has made a solid start with all of this applicable vocabulary and whatnot, but let’s add a high-pressure environment and the necessity for random knowledge to the mix. Because high school students don’t stress enough about the college process, right?