Oscars Drinking Game!

Tonight is one of the most important nights in Hollywood--when actors and actresses acquire more praise to inflate their egos to zeppelin proportions. So, to make your Sunday night more booze-y and the boring awards ceremony much more interesting, here’s a drinking game you can partake in.

Throughout the night:
-Drink for as long as the music plays to drown out the winner
-Anytime the censors miss a curse word: 1 drink
-Anytime Ellen dances: 1 drink
-Everytime the presenters/announcers mispronounce someone’s name (Chiwetel Ejiofor, Lupita Nyong’o): 1 drink
-Take a shot every time you randomly guess correctly the winner of awards no one cares about (I’m pulling for Lone Survivor for Best Sound Mixing!!).

Best Picture:
-If Wolf of Wall Street wins: text everyone in your phone looking for quaaludes, if you can’t find any, shotgun a beer
-If Gravity wins: the first person to complain that the movie wasn’t scientifically accurate (I see you Neil deGrasse Tyson) has to finish their drink
-If Her wins: Ask Siri how many shots you should take and comply
-If Philomena wins: drink as many times as people say “What is this movie even about?”
-If 12 Years a Slave wins: take 12 shots amongst the players

Best Actor/Actress:
-Every time Matthew McConaughey says “alright”: 1 drink
-If Meryl Streep wins: drink for 18 seconds (the number of her oscar nominations)
-If Leonardo Dicaprio wins: drink for 18 seconds (the average age of his girlfriends)
-If Cate Blanchett wins: drink until you’re at her Golden Globes level of intoxication.

Best Supporting Actor/Actress:
-If Lupita Nyong’o wins: get as drunk as you get at Harvard Yale (she’s a Yale grad)
-If Jennifer Lawrence wins: the last person to yell “I volunteer as tribute!” has to take a shot
-If Jared Leto wins: drink for as long as you are astounded by his vampire-esque anti-aging skills
-If Barkhad Abdi wins: take a shot and say “I am the captain now!”

Have fun, and be safe!