5 Stages of Grief: Dunkin' Donuts

By now, you have probably heard the news that the Dunkin’ Donuts on Mass. Ave will be closing on September 26. Not sure how to deal with your sudden pangs of sorrow? No problem. Flyby has put together a five-step guide to getting through your grief.

Denial and Isolation: The sudden news will hit with you all the force of your first ‘B’ at Harvard. You will come to feel more isolated and alone than someone in a Union dorm, or even worse, the Quad.

Anger: Don’t be afraid to show up to the Dunkin’ Donuts even after its closed, bang on the window repeatedly, and in your best Matt Damon voice, yell “How do you like them apples?”

Bargaining: You will soon realize that yelling at an empty building might be a drunken cry for someone to take you to UHS and that a Starbucks drink costs its weight in gold. At which point, you will convince yourself that you really don’t need to go out for coffee every morning, and that the dining hall could suffice.

Depression: When you wake from your nap in Sanders after Ec 10 tired and alone, you begin to wonder how you can make it through the rest of the year. You start to eat less, fall behind on your ps-ets, and become a whole different person from that caffeine-driven social fiend you used to be.

Acceptance: Finally, the anguish has become unbearable, and you decide that going to any of the other three Dunkin’ Donuts right around Harvard square could work. Plus, it’s a mainstream chain, and there are literally the same exact items at every single location.