Buy Bras and Crocs to Support Harvard?

The Harvard Management Company certainly isn't headed to the thrift shop with nearly $31 billion dollars in its pocket. Harvard's investments in Smith & Wesson, one of the largest gun distributors in the United States, recently raised concern among alums and current students involved with the Responsible Investment at Harvard Coalition.

But one investment is small potatoes for the HMC. Even if they choose to divest from Smith & Wesson, they'll still have money to blow on high-end retail, tacky shoes, and even large portions of entire countries. You name it—Harvard has probably already invested in it.

Brazil. Harvard's obsession with the country doesn't stop with HUDS' wildly popular Brazilian Brunch. Feijoada and farofa aside, the Brazilian companies listed on the SEC report touch every aspect of Brazilian life. The portfolio includes a huge bank, a giant food distributor, the biggest brewery in Latin America, a mobile telephone company, and multiple energy and power companies. It looks like we should be having Brazilian Brunch every week, courtesy of the HMC.

Crocs. Harvard invests in only the best fashion trends through the Russell 2000 Fund. Investors must have looked around in 2005 and decided that the future of footwear lay in the tacky and plastic version of the boating shoe—a staple of any Harvard outfit. As with the stuffy morning suits that you might see at Commencement, Harvard continues to support terrible fads that should have died quietly years ago.

Victoria's Secret. Oh Harvard, you sexy beast—use that endowment well. According to the SEC report, Harvard invests in Limited Brands, the parent company of Victoria's Secret and PINK. Every time you buy that lacy and uber-supportive bra, you are also valiantly supporting your school's dedication to financial aid, scientific research, and academic stamina.