Things Less Eventful Than This UC Election

This year’s UC presidential election process, which seems finally to have come to a close last night, has given us more whiplash than the most fearsome of roller coasters. With all the twists, turns, and dramatic plot twists that went on right here on our own campus, suddenly everything else suddenly seemed less exciting in comparison. Here are some examples.

Epic of Gilgamesh
The memories of this UC election cycle may last even longer than the earliest works of literature, such as Mesopotamia’s Epic of Gilgamesh. The Epic of Gilgamesh has survived millennia—a blink of the eye compared to this unfolding saga.

The Capture of Constantinople
Not only did the Byzantines fortify their city with meter-thick walls, in 1453 they even took the precaution of chaining the Golden Horn inlet of the Bosphorus. However, this was not enough to keep out Ottoman Sultan Mehmed II, who had his troops pull their naval ships across greased logs on land to avoid the chain and successfully capture the city.

Man Landing on the Moon
Neil Armstrong and crew did the unthinkable, venturing into space and the unknown. America watched from living room televisions, not knowing once the spaceship sailed into the black abyss whether it would ever come back.

The Last Scene of "Titanic"
You know, that infamous scene where Rose clings onto the last piece of floating wood, and Leonardo Di Caprio is left to paddle along beside her in the frigid waters? There was obviously room for the both of them on the log if Rose had only scooted over a bit. Can Leo survive? To the disappointment of all teenage girls ever, he doesn’t—the most dramatic point in the entire movie.

John F. Kennedy’s 1960 Election
Fresh-faced JFK had a narrowly-fought battle against sitting VP Richard Nixon to become America’s 35th president, and he won by less than one percent of the popular vote.