6 Questions That Should Be On The UC Ballot

Voting on the Undergraduate Council referenda questions opened today, giving students the opportunity to voice their support or opposition for propsals that range from making gender neutral housing available throughout Harvard College to asking the administration to endorse comprehensive immigration reform.

We at Flyby think the ballot is missing a few things. Here are some proposals that are almost as important to Harvard student life:

1. Do you support or oppose requiring that HUDS serve carnival cookies in the dining hall at every meal, including breakfast?
Does this even need to go on the ballot? Obviously we support it.

2. Do you support or oppose making No-Shave November mandatory for all men on campus?
Bringing attention to men’s prostate health is a good thing. Plus, maybe if the freshman guys look older, we can finally make it into the Owl! And, as the Red Sox have proven, winners grow beards.

3. Do you support or oppose keeping Lamont open all night Friday and Saturday?
There’s no feeling of shame like getting kicked out of a library on a weekend night. Isn’t it enough that most of us can’t get into Final Clubs? We just want to belong somewhere.

4.  Do you support or oppose a shuttle from the Union dorms to the Yard?
Does Harvard really expect students in Union dorms to walk three minutes to class? Seriously, come on.

5.  Do you support or oppose making it mandatory for students to receive free bacon for attending sporting events?
This may seem ridiculous, but it's a foolproof way to raise attendance at athletic contests. Just ask Kansas State.

6. Do you support or oppose the extension of dining hall hours for dinner past 7:15 p.m.?
Wait, this is a serious proposal that would make the lives of most students more convenient….hmm.