8 Courses That Will Stop the Humanities Crisis

We at Flyby encourage the humanities departments to take action to stop the much-lamented decline of humanities by creating new courses. These courses, conveniently labeled “m” for money, may succeed in luring students of STEM to the house of humanism and soothing their worries with regards to post-graduation employment. These courses will all betoken the nuanced utilities of humanities courses in the most obvious manner. Students will get a chance to answer questions that have real life applications, and gain both intellectual enhancement and practical skills.

Literature 91m
Close Reading of the Dow Jones

Through close readings of the Dow Jones Industrial Average, this course introduces students to the key concepts of financial analysis and literature at the same time. Each week, the students will write a response post about the Dow Jones using one of the literary styles Joyce employs in Ulysses. The students will gain a mastery of Ulysses without having to read the book itself.

Music 193m
Topics in Elevator Music: Proseminar

Music of the working man: a survey of elevator and background music. This course will teach you the art of effortless listening, without requiring any conscious effort so that you can eavesdrop on morning or after-work gossip on the elevator. Readings will include "Elevator Music: A Surreal History of Muzak, Easy-Listening, and Other Moodsong" and the "Goldman Sachs Elevator Twitter feed."

HAA 138m
Art Collecting

What does the art in your living room represent? This seminar will teach you how to find the most sought out works that are within your budget limits without being well versed in art. Students will learn how the art market works, how to invest wisely in artworks, how to buy and sell art, and how to choose a bank by looking at their art collection.

English Cm
Creative Coding: Workshop

This workshop course is for students with prior experience in coding. Students will examine various programming languages, and discuss how they can be used to create innovative works of literature. Students will work on their creative code, which will be functional as a program, and will be a literary work at the same time.

FRENCH 61m
In Search of Lost Time: Reinventing the 24-Hour Day

In this course, students will engage in reading Proust’s "In Search of Lost Time" in its entirety. There will be overnight reading sessions scheduled to train the students to work 20-hour days. Enrollment in the course requires receiving clearing from UHS and signatures from the student, their academic advisor, and the Resident Dean. The teaching staff cannot be held accountable for any health problems the students may develop.

RELIGION 115m
Afterlife in Modern American Life

This course explores religion’s role in career choice. Readings will include Dante’s Inferno, The Bible, and the Quran. Students will discuss various sins that are associated with different occupations, and explore whether their career choice is a straight route to hell. We will also read excerpts from St. Augustine’s Confessions, Rousseau’s Confessions, and Casanova’s Histoire de ma vie to explore effective ways to confess to one’s sins and crimes.

Phil 28m
On the Genealogy of Morals: Nietzsche to Madoff

Nietzsche and Madoff both grapple with questions of morality: Is there good or evil? What is the origin of morals? We will launch a discussion to explore the principles of morality in today’s world by exploring cases from the finance world. We will also examine moral qualms about working in finance raised by students in the class. This course will prepare you to work long years in finance without hurting your conscience or feeling selfish.

VES 76m
Art of Benjamins: Studio Course

This studio class will focus on how to make art with your extra money. The main emphasis of this course will be on paper mache, but students are encouraged to suggest other ways of making art with paper bills and coins. This course will train students to be comfortable with making more money than they will ever need, and not doing anything traditionally regarded as useful with it.