What Makes a Yale Student Brave

It’s hard to be snarky about a Yale video that earnestly tells Yalies to be themselves, and nevertheless, Flyby can’t resist the urge to try. The Bullblog (the blog of The Yale Herald) wrote about the video, “This will be the fuzziest you’ve felt on the inside since ‘That’s Why I Chose Yale.’” Which translates to: this will be the funniest thing Harvard students have seen since OHT’s “Why Did I Choose Yale?” parody video. So these are the qualities that apparently make Yalies brave:

The ability to go to the grocery store

A girl is seen dancing down the aisles. Go her! This confirms that Yalies do in fact understand that food is essential for life.

The ability to pick up a book

We weren’t sure that Yalies knew how to read, and this video didn’t dispel our concerns. All it proves they are capable of doing with a book is dancing around with it on a table.

The ability to start a dance party in a library

We’ve heard a lot about the famed “Yale party scene,” but until now we didn’t realize it mainly took place in libraries. No wonder they’re ranked below us: they don’t posses the sheer strength it takes to resist breaking out in dance in Lamont. “That time I started a dance party” might be a perfectly good way to start an application to Yale, but it sure won’t get you into Harvard.

The ability to cross the street

But seriously, can they stop dancing already? If there’s a traffic jam on the way to the Yale Bowl next weekend, you know who to blame. Unfortunately, it seems the dancing Yalies can’t stop.

The ability to interact with members of the opposite sex

Okay, we can’t be the only ones who thought the entire campus was celibate. I mean, why would even a Yalie want to date another Yalie? They should just wait for the one weekend per year when a beautiful Harvard student can show them why exactly Harvard students don’t need bravery (good looks, smooth moves, and last but not least, the ability to read should suffice).