Flyby’s Tips for a Successful Parents’ Weekend

It’s crucial to go into parents’ weekend with a strategy. With the arrival of family on campus comes the potential for both very good and very bad things to happen. When planning for parents’ weekend, one must strategize about how to best depict college life and how to most effectively get what you want. Here are a few of Flyby’s key tips:

Start using the word “homesick” in the days prior to their visit.
It’s important to have your parents’ sympathies on your side even before they get into town. They need to come in with the right attitude. Drop some hints about specific things you might be happy to see them arrive with in Boston. I’ve personally been missing my favorite frozen yogurt from home. In a few days, I will strategically mention this to my mother. “Ugh—I miss home and all the small comforts of Palo Alto so much. Sometimes, I think I would feel so much better if only I could have some natural and chocolate swirled Fraiche with raspberries and Mochi… Oh—by the way—did I ever tell you about the time my friend Hannah’s grandmother transported black sesame ice cream from China using dry ice?” Yes, I do know someone who brought ice cream across the world, so it is possible to bring froyo from California. Hopefully my parents can figure it out.

Take advantage of your parents’ company—and by that, I mean their wallets.
Aim for a noticeable weight loss or gain just in time for parents weekend—and blame it on the food. “Dad, Annenberg is so awful—I never eat. I basically just live off water and the edamame they occasionally have in the salad bar.” Or: “Mom, help! Every meal I eat pizza, fries, cookies, and frozen yogurt. I know you warned me about the freshman 15, but there really are no other options. None of my clothes even fit any more.” Take your parents to the dining hall so they can check it out themselves—they won’t be impressed. Request nice meals out while they’re here and obtain gift cards to your favorite spots so you can continue to eat well when they’re gone.

While you’re at lunch at your favorite fancy restaurant, casually complain about back pain. Is it due to the beds? Do you have a severe illness contracted in high-density, germ-ridden dorms? Whatever the cause, the solution to this is easy: a massage. Oh, and you’ve been working so hard that your anxiety levels are high. A trip to the spa will cure a debilitating physical ailment and boost your mental well-being, killing two birds with one stone.

One last note on this: don’t forget to milk the frigid New England climate for all it’s worth. Thankfully, it will be pretty chilly by the time parents’ weekend rolls around. Greet your parents in completely weather inappropriate clothing. Go for shock value. “What are you wearing?! You cannot wear that in this weather—you’re going to die.” “Mom, I don’t own anything besides tank tops and shorts. I do have a cotton sweater though that I wear at night.” This tactic will work especially well if you’re from another, warmer part of the world. “You think I’ll need a parka, Dad?” Oh, and if you’ve achieved significant weight loss/gain, also use this as an excuse. Soon enough, you’ll find yourself on a shopping spree for “winter clothing.”

Party with your parents.
Let’s be honest, everyone wants to relive their youth. Don’t think your parents are the exception. You can bet that they’re jealous when they stalk your Facebook pics—they too want to be dancing on tables, posing with red cups, throwing back shots, and shotgunning beers (Because that’s what most Harvard students do, right?). Even if that’s not normally included in your weekend plans, use Parents’ Weekend to let loose. Drunk bonding with your parents might be a good way to break the ice, and you can get them to promise to buy you more nice things in this state. Plus, they won’t even notice the mess in your room and will forget about your failed midterm that you briefly mentioned in conversation.

Sidenote: Your parents will be jealous if they miss out on the fun. So try not to go too crazy the night before they arrive. This will most likely not be a good start to the weekend.

Good luck!