Absurd Times in Halloweentown

Throngs of witches with broomsticks in hand wandered through the autumn air, weaving through crowds of wannabe 80s rockstars and skimpily-dressed Catwomen. This might seem like a scene from Disney’s 90s classic, "Halloweentown," but it’s a real sight in the town of Salem. On Saturday night, the Undergraduate Council sponsored a free Halloween outing to Salem, Massachusetts, home of the infamous witch hunts of the late seventeenth century, and I was one of the lucky few to go. A few minutes in Salem, and I realized how ridiculous the whole town looked, especially to a Californian like myself who has never before experienced this level of Halloween hype.

The tiny town was filled with elaborately dressed residents and visitors, from toddlers to grandparents, in just about every Halloween costume imaginable—from hot dogs to nuns to marijuana leaves.

“It’s a tradition, dressing up every year. There’s just so much energy in this town, and so many people walking around and so many new and cool costumes,” said a sixty-something Salem resident dressed as a marijuana leaf, whose name was impossible to glean.

Vendors selling fried, overpriced, and heart attack-inducing foods lined the streets of the town, and hundreds flocked to purchase French fries smothered in yellow cheese, fried onions and eggplant, fried dough, warm apple cider, and cinnamon rolls. Although there were probably a gazillion calories in the cheese fries (enough to make the freshman 15 a reality in a day) my classmates and I were glad to have a break from dinner in Annenberg.

I walked by the town’s graveyard, which was appropriately named "The Oldest Burying Ground in The City of Salem," and seemed to be as popular a tourist attraction as the John Harvard statue. Crowds of people descended upon the graveyard, disturbing the peace of famous figures from the past, including Capt. Richard More, a passenger of the Mayflower, and Justice John Hathorne, a relative of Nathaniel Hawthorne. (Fun fact of the day: Nathaniel Hawthorne’s actual House of the Seven Gables is another famous tourist attraction in Salem).

Meandering through the spooky city of Salem, with its 30-second haunted houses that had lines lasting more than an hour and its Halloween Carnival that literally consisted of one brightly lit Ferris Wheel, I couldn’t help but feel that the whole concept was somewhat absurd. Sure it was a nice escape from Cambridge—but not so much from annoying tourists taking pictures of every single thing in sight—and sure it was interesting getting hexed by hundreds of devilish witches, but I don’t see myself venturing out to Halloweentown again in the near future.