7 Harvard Apps That Should (But Don't) Exist

Whether it is used to wake you up in the morning, remind you to do your laundry before lunch, or fill that awkward silence a few minutes before class starts, your smartphone is a necessity. However, you may have been frustrated by the appalling scarcity of apps specificly designed for Harvard struggles. Here is a list of apps that should, but don’t exist (yet). CS50 kids, pay attention:

1. The “Track Mankiw” App
Each time Mankiw is detected in public view, the all-important question is raised once again: clearly too busy to be actually teaching, what exactly does Mankiw do? This app will allow users to report a Mankiw sighting, detailing the precise time and location of the incident.

2. The “HUDS” App
This revolutionary app will include detailed breakfast, lunch, dinner, AND brain-break offerings. (Disclaimer: I know that “Dining Halls” are a feature on the Harvard app already. But it’s the Harvard app. I get hungrier faster than that app loads.)

3. The “Free Market” App
This app will provide information on which booths will be providing free samples at the Farmer’s Market, because we all know that’s the only reason you walk through them every Tuesday and Friday.

4. The “Where’s My Key” App
Self-explanatory.

5. The “HarvSquare” App
This app will be a spinoff of FourSquare to incentivize real living. You know, like how a real person lives. You not only get points when you arrive at social areas (e.g. Pinkberry), but also when you leave from work places (e.g. Science Center). Bonus points for leaving Lamont before midnight on weekdays.

6. The “Traffic Control” App
This app will highlight routes that are congested by large groups of tourists—perfect if you want to avoid traffic and actually get to class on time.

7. The “Study Break Calendar” App
This app will send alerts before every sponsored Study Break that is open to all students, regardless of housing. You will never miss another ramen study break again.