"Titanic 3D": Drink Till You Sink

"Titanic 3D" hits theaters today, and everybody's wondering: What is going to happen in this movie? Oh, wait...

It's been fifteen years since the story was suspenseful, so spice up your re-viewing with a little alcoholic fun. The Titanic's sinking (spoiler alert!), so let's get drinking.

Whenever someone says the word "unsinkable," toast to dramatic irony.

If someone talks about the diamond, take a drink.

If someone stares at the diamond with an intense gaze, take a drink.

Drink every time you see a scene that has sexual implications you did not understand as a child.

Drink every time a teardrop falls into your glass. Salty!

Kate and Leo look so young. Slurp, slurp, slurp every time you think about that.

If Cal says or does something evil, take a sip and then spit it towards his face on the screen.

Drink every time you hear the words "women and children."

How did the same person who crafted this tragic love story also write "Avatar"? You can dwell on that thought, or you can erase it with a drink.

Take a drink every time Kathy Bates is randomly on screen. (This can apply to any movie.)

Everything's cooler in 3D, so take a salutatory drink to the future.

Now that you're equipped, go hit the cinema with some friends and some tissues. The main goal is to anesthetize the ending—it's really sad.