Horoscopes: Leap Day Edition

It's leap day, guys—which means things are getting freaky. An extra day added to the calendar prompts planetary misalignment and karmic hijinks. But never fear: Flyby's own personal astrologist is here to reveal what the spheres have in store for you on this day of all astral energies.

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Ares was the ancient god of war, and you're that contemporary guy who gets a little aggressive. Today the extra-bright quality of Mars will have you feeling pretty bellig. Channel your anger at 6:15 p.m. Zumba with Katie.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Jupiter and Venus are making googly eyes at each other across the solar system, and your planetary vibes have you checking out your TF. Yes, she does think it's creepy.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

Neptune says stop procrastinating.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

The angle Mercury is making with Saturn means Cancers run a serious risk of being section kid.

Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22)

You're a symbol of nobility and pride, but when someone cuts you in the bag inspection line exiting Widener, things get real. For payback, slip an unchecked-out library book into his bag when he's not looking. Rawr, Leo. Rawr.

Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)

When jealous Pluto prompts your roommate to steal that last mini snack pack of Doritos, shit's going down. But never fear: Saturn setting in the east will have her buying you an I'm-sorry gift bag of Little Debbie before the day is over.

Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)

Venus planet of love says your leap day will be steamy.

Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)

Saturn, god of psets, says your leap day will be spent in Lamont.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)

You've identified with February ever since that song they taught you in kindergarten—you know, "February stands alone." Now that it's leap year, you realize your favorite month is even weirder than you thought it was. Stand strong, Sagittarius.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)

The movement of Pluto predicts Korean barbecue!!!

Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)

The current alignment of Earth and Uranus will prompt you to make off-color anatomical jokes! Don't hold back, Aquarius: your quirky humor is why people love you.

Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20)

Due to increased solar energy, today you will experience a great desire to dougie. Do so. And then teach others how.