Attack of the Annenburglar

What if you need to get to Ec 10 in five minutes and you don't have time to make a perfect panini-pressed sandwich? What if you crave Marshmallow Mateys at 3 a.m.?

Not a problem for the Annenburglar! From froyo to frankfurters, the Annenburglar's heists are swift, silent, and delicious. One member of this stealthy species of students adept at defying HUDS' ban on taking food outside of Annenberg documents her pilfering online to inspire other petty thieves hungry for a midnight snack.

"The no-food-outside of the d-hall policy is abominable," the Annenburglar, who wishes to remain anonymous to avoid trouble with HUDS, wrote in an email. "It encourages eating when one is not truly hungry in anticipation of hunger between meals."

The art of swiping food, the Annenburglar insists, is not a difficult craft as long as you have the right tools. "My weapon of choice is the tupperware," she wrote. "I came to school prepared with a wide array of shapes and sizes." Napkins or Ziploc bags will serve the Tupperware-less thief in a pinch, but you can't carry away pesto sauce or New England Clam Chowder in a tissue. After you have secured your loot, the only task that remains is to keep calm, carry on, and walk out. Of course, please aim for moderation. Taking a few slices of bread is understandable, but swiping two bags of bread at once is not cool.

Never fear: your life of crime won't outlast your freshman year. Upperclassman dining halls generally have no such qualms about students taking food outside.