Done With Exams? Well, Some of Us are Still "Laboring"

Finishing exams is, we at FlyBy imagine, somewhat like giving birth (please don't ask our moms to confirm the validity of this analogy). You carry around the increasing weight of your impending exams/term papers/end of year project, bragging about its current size until you either spend an excruciating night pushing—and pushing, and pushing, and pushing—the thing into existence, or you exhaust yourself for a quick-but-painful three hours of labor.

Now that you're done, it's understandable that you feel like celebrating. But according to this analogy, all of your friends who aren't done with exams yet are still pregnant (you may have noticed them getting rounder—that's actually all of the Lamont Cafe pastries), and they'd really appreciate it if you were sensitive to their special condition.

So here's an easy rule of thumb: don't do anything around someone who isn't finished with exams that you wouldn't do around a pregnant woman. FlyBy has compiled a handy list of specific examples to help follow this rule.

1. Turn it down. Babies have sensitive ears, even in the womb. We understand your desire to blast "We Are The Champions" or "Tik Tok"—or both, simultaneously, for a sound explosion—but preparing to give birth to the perfect essay requires lots of concentration and, if at all possible, some sleep. So consider the plight of your hallmates and keep the riot in your earbuds.

2. Don't offer alcohol. Sure, drink all you want, but don't tempt an exam-taker-to-be. You don't want to inflict lasting damage on their baby...er, computer science project.

3. Quit bragging. So you wrote six papers in 72 hours without sleeping or leaving Lamont or eating anything you didn't buy from a vending machine. It's over. Others are still carrying around the Miracle of Life [Sci 1B study guides], and hearing about your ordeal and/or your post exam shennanigans isn't making it any easier. Stop blabbering and give your exam-bound friends a foot rub.

4. Offer your seat. Pregnant people take up a lot of space with their huge bellies and piles of textbooks. Now that you're done, free up some space in Lamont—why sit there guiltlessly checking Facebook when you could be taking the first of those trips to Boston you always said you'd make when you came to Harvard?

5. Indulge their cravings. We all know that expectant mothers get weird cravings, and those preparing to welcome a new blue book are no different. Bring your blockmate that bubble tea she doesn't have time to go get, or stock your room with energy bars so your roommate has something to eat at the end of an all-nighter when breakfast is still an hour away.

Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons