We All Scream for Ice Cream Ratings

Summer is coming up, which means two things: it’s time to find the best spots to fix that unnatural pallor you’ve gotten from spending your days indoors and it’s time to find ice cream to counter the soon-to-be searing Cambridge heat.

In this subjective and unscientific review, we’ll give you the lowdown on where to get the best ice cream based on a sample of the $4 vanilla ice cream cups at four different Harvard Square ice cream parlors.

4th Place. Lizzy’s Homemade Ice Cream

This two-store chain has the boutique appeal that a large chain like Ben & Jerry’s lacks, but the ice cream leaves something to be desired. The friendly cashier said that the regular sweetened vanilla contained Splenda and was “mad good.” But we found ourselves overwhelmed by the artificial sweetness. The ice cream didn’t really taste natural, and the texture could be described as “brittle.”

Rating: Unremarkable (4/4)

3rd Place. Ben & Jerry’s

If you’re willing to dive into the depths of the pseudo-punk faux-postmodern world of The Garage, you’ll be rewarded with a great cup of ice cream for around $4. The vanilla ice cream here was great and boasted a nice, natural flavor, but after half a cup we felt ourselves yearning for a sweeter experience.

Rating: Pretty good (3/4)

2nd Place. Baskin-Robbins

The Baskin-Robbins/Dunkin Donuts combo seemed questionable, but the ice cream itself assuaged any fears that there was intermingling between egg sandwiches and the ice cream. The ice cream was delicious—it tasted sweet like Lizzy’s but the sweetness was more comparable to the natural sweetness of a fruit than the unwholesome sweetness of Splenda. The texture was fairly standard—it didn’t conjure up images of a majestic cow in Vermont, but didn’t get in the way of the experience.

Rating: Delicious (2/4)

1st Place. J.P. Licks

This is the ice cream that made us think not of a majestic Vermonter cow, but the beautiful bovine of India. After the transcendent experience of eating this ice cream, you’ll understand just how deep that imagery was. The vanilla ice cream represents a perfect union of creamy texture and full vanilla flavor, and after we finished our cup, we felt ourselves yearning for more.

Rating: Flawless (1/4)

Photo by Rachel M. Douglas/The Harvard Crimson.