Recap: Lost in "The Lost Boy"

Judging by the title of this post, FlyBy's hopes for an adrenaline-packed episode of Gossip Girl were unceremoniously dashed, as this episode pretty much sucked. We've put together a scientifically sound rating system featuring noteworthy moments, fashion faux pas, and our incredibly wry commentary for each storyline. Only minor spoilers this time. Ratings after the jump.

The Blair and Chuck do things to each other storyline

Plot intrigue: Too predictable. That plot symmetry had us squirming. -7

Fashion faux pas: Sequined shift dress resembling shiny gift wrapping paper? Not especially flattering. -3

WTF moment: Blair steals Chuck's loafers, leaving him blue-balled and shoe-less. OUT OF REVENGE. +50

PowerPlay: Serena outbids Bluck during their bickering at the auction. +3

Then gives them the $7k painting, forgetting that she was mad at them for screwing with Carter. -5

But we don't like Carter anyway. +7

BlairFail: Walks right into Georgina's La Table Elitaire scheme. -5

Mispronounces La Table Elitaire. -2

Overall: 39, <33 Bluck. Or Chair. Whatever you prefer.

The uh, Dan, uh, is awkward, uh, sure, Georgina, pizza sounds good, no strings attached! storyline.

PowerPlay: Georgina executes the perfect morning-after talk, diffuses Dan's awkward let's-just-be-friends proposal with her breezy pizza invite, then worms her way into an unsuspecting Dan's life. +20

Georgina changes her desktop background to one of her and Dan. +2

DanFail: Lacks testicular virility and lets Serena break up with Georgina for him. -3

Overall: 19, no thanks to Dan.

The can't wait for Carter to leave the show/sick of Serena's boo hoo my father hates me storyline.

Plot intrigue: CAN WE PLEASE KILL THIS STORYLINE. -1000000000

CarterFail: Gets framed by Blair and Chuck. -5

Presents feeble defense. "It's not me!" -9

Emasculated by the hotel employee when he can't pay for room service. -5

Overall: -1000000018

The Vanessa is so desperate that she's dating a mentally unstable creep storyline.

Plot intrigue: Information asymmetry--always fun. +2.

Really bad acting in Vanessa/Scott's "emotional" scenes. -9

Fashion faux pas: Vanessa finally gets her chemically clumped hair under control. +3

Social faux pas: Scott's really intense creepy stare. -2

ScottFail: Georgina overhears Scott's secret. -3

It was a dumb secret anyway. +1

Overall: -10

The Nate is super boring storyline.

Plot intrigue: None. -15

Fashion faux pas: Um, please go back to the look-my-cute-bangs-fall-in-my-beautiful-but-shallow-eyes look. The new slicked back hairdo doesn't do much for your uneven hairline, Nathaniel. -1

Overall: -16

The Jenny doesn't have her own storyline storyline.

JennyFail: for appearing once on the show. During breakfast at the end of the episode. Except the glasses of orange juice were more noticeable than Jenny. -3

Overall: This is not a storyline. 0

Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Hippi ippi