Upper...Fail.

Face it. By the time you’re a senior, few things have the ability to excite anymore.

Being able to walk into Louie’s and get yourself a case of Dos Equis without resorting to groveling at Mr. Chen’s feet? Been there, done that. Harvard-Yale? Hard to believe, but winning gets old after the 804913th time. Primal scream? Yawn.

Yet there was always one ray of light that had the power to shake seniors out of their 16-years-of-education-induced ennui, that could beckon them -- in hordes -- out of the insular comfort of their spacious suites and prompt them to make the pilgrimage to the northern reaches of campus: Upper Hall.

For the square out there, that would be the venerable program that promised 156 members of the senior class unlimited booze three drinks (!) at the Queen’s Head Pub (plus a spiffy stein, a special Upper Hall keychain, and discounted food) on Friday evenings in exchange for a $50 membership fee.

The Pub called it the solution to the "direly needed center of student life," Facebook declared owning a stein to be the source of "undying glory and the envy of underclassmen," and each event drew an average of 1100 students (translation: Ec10 times two) when it debuted in 2007.

Sounds great, right?? Except, um, FlyBy has bad news for this year's senior class.

It turns out that Upper Hall is not taking place this year... Or ever again, for that matter.

Upper Hall, according to Cambridge Queen's Head Manager Scott Smider '01, was made possible through the donation of an alum who took it upon him/herself to loosen up the senior class. The donation was meant to last for just 2007-2008, but with some good bookkeeping, managed to be stretched out for the class of '09, as well.

"The program was not profitable. It was entirely subsidized by the donation from the alum," Smider said.

Unlimited booze, enduring glory? Damn it, we knew it was too good to last.

Photo: Crimson File Photo