Assassins Round Up

Been creeped out over the past few weeks by carrot-wielding, overly paranoid people stalking hallways for unsuspecting targets? Yeah, FlyBy is also ready for this round of Assassins to come to an end. Thankfully, that day is approaching. But we also see the appeal of a long-sought excuse for your paranoia and excessive facebook stalking. Don't worry, FlyBy doesn't judge.

In true Harvard fashion of over-intensity, this round of Assassins brought out the best in Harvard students—a bizarre combination of creepiness and mis-directed ingenuity. And FlyBy has your rundown of some of the more outrageous kills, characters, and shoot-outs—after the jump.

Quincy: The people's house organized competitors into various teams, with The Professionals taking home the prize. According to one participant this game quickly devolved into what resembled a Western shoot-out—lots of shots fired with almost none hitting their targets. But then again, since when were Harvard students known for their marksmanship?

One particularly epic shoot-out pitted Ian Malott '09 against Will Hetzler '09. After realizing that his target was on his way back to his room, Hetzler camped out behind a door at the end of the Quincy hallway armed with a grotesque fully automatic nerf gun. Hetzler watched through the a crack in the door as his target walked towards him armed only with single shot guns, head swiveling madly to try and spot a possible assailant. Bursting through the door, Hetzler met Malott with a spray of darts. But in what Keller Rinaudo '09, a member of the winning team, described as a "Pulp Fiction moment" all the bullets missed Malott, leaving the two combatants standing shocked in the hallway. Not bothering to shoot back, Malott turned and ran. Great marksmanship indeed. On second thought, does ROTC even want Harvard students? They can't shoot straight anyway.

Adams: Here at FlyBy, we appreciate our next-door neighbor's generosity in lending their dining hall to the hordes too lazy to make the trek to Quincy. Adams continued capitalizing on their best asset in their Assassins game, opting for a dining hall theme of spoons as weapons. FlyBy heard the requirement that the spoon make skin contact in order for a kill to count brought out hoodies and fleeces along with the occasional facemask and gloves. Yeah... told you these people were intense.

Although Joe Poirier '11 took home the crown, FlyBy's favorite kill belongs to Dan Bear '10 who made the trek to Jefferson Science Labs to surprise his victim with an ingenious spoon attack. Bear tracked his victim to the north end of campus, waiting outside his lab to pounce. Before he could register a kill against his "well-protected" opponent, Bear had to chase the victim around Jefferson until he finally cornered him and applied the spoon to his face. That's dedication. But apparently, the frenzied chase garnered a few concerned looks, with more than one staffer under the impression that Bear was actually trying to assault his victim.

"I was surprised that other people weren't going to such lengths," Bear said. FlyBy salutes this man's downright lackadaisical mindset.

Leverett: Perhaps in an homage to their furry mascot, Leverett House armed participants with not nerf guns, not swords, but carrots! Yes, carrots. And how does one avoid assassination in this bucolic match? Ask and ye shall receive: chewing broccoli. Yes, broccoli. So it was no surprise when FlyBy learned that the most intense participants toted around a tupperware container full of broccoli at all times. FlyBy was less excited to hear about those who declined to find a fresh source of broccoli. Delicious!

The Leverett House winner, Ben French '10, faced a particularly nasty opponent in a Lev resident who manically carried with him a container of broccoli. But once the organizers dispensed of the broccoli rule, French's path to victory was clear. He chased his opponent through the halls of Leverett and dispatched his opponent in a carrot-sword fight.

You can't make this shit up.

Eliot: Although its game of Assassins wrapped during reading period, one Eliot contestant deserves a special mention for creativity, creepiness, and gusto for the fine art of the kill.

Faced with an opponent from his home state of Utah, Kenneth Brewer '11 lured his victim to his chosen killing zone by impersonating as a well-known Harvard alumnus from Utah. Brewer called his victim posing as the alumnus and asked her to meet him at Herrell's Ice Cream, a location this person frequents. Arriving early at Herrell's, Brewer watched from a booth as his victim walked to the back of the shop where she awkwardly introduced herself to some other students who she thought was there to meet the same man. Brewer then crept up behind her and dispatched his victim. After such a ruthless kill, Brewer apologized and asked if he could buy the girl ice-cream. She declined and went back to the library. FlyBy is no dating expert but identity theft does not strike us as the best way to get a girl. But Brewer does get the prize for FlyBy's favorite kill.

Got some great Assassins moments you'd like to share? Send them to flybyblog@gmail.com.