Listen Here, Drunk, Hungry Pre-Frosh.

Alright pre-frosh. Here begins your tutorial. Keep up, we're going quick. We've all been there. Some of us are actually there quite frequently. Drunk, smashed, f***ed up, and really really hungry. "But where," you ask, "shall I ever go to fulfill my gustatory needs?" Don't worry, FlyBy's got you covered even if your "super busy," "super" self-important host doesn't. The scoop, after the jump.

The Market — Though expensive, the Market boasts an impressive array of healthy food and unexpected late night sandwiches. The only 24 hour eatery in the vicinity, FlyBy has made the trek there many a long night, sometimes with varying success. Not the best drunk food, but try the Chicken Parmesan sandwich or the Cheesesteak if you find yourself three sheets to the wind in this Brattle Square jump off. Warning: do not screw with the random homeless people. It's never as funny as you might think, and sometimes it ends quite badly.

7-11 — The last resort of a desperate man, 7-11 can fulfill all your drunken needs, though you'll probably regret it. From that pack of cigarettes to those horrible nachos or, God forbid, the taquitos, 7-11's got you covered with it's 24-hour service.  Warning: While you may run into your fair share of stoners here satisfying their slurpee and ice cream needs, don't even think about asking for rolling papers. It won't be well received.  Location: corner of JFK and My. Auburn, where all the bums hang out.

Pinocchio's — Oh yea, you'll want to go to Nochs. You, however, won't be the only one. Nochs is always packed on the weekends until closing at 2, since students can't keep their grubby little hands off the fat, doughy Sicilian slices—especially after a few drinks. Nochs is often rated one of the best pizza places in Boston, so don't expect to get a seat in there or anything, but if you're needing a little grease and bread fix, it's probably worth the wait. Warning: no credit/debit card purchases for less than $7.50. That's 4 slices (2 for $5) or 3 and a drink. You don't want to eat that much. People will think you're a fat fat fatty.  Location: uhhhh...just ask somebody.

Subway — Let FlyBy paint this picture for you.  You’re out, you’re at a party, you’re boozing it up like you just don’t care (which you don’t, because you were at Princeton earlier this week, and you liked it better anyway.)  Right.  And then all of a sudden you do care, because you’re going to be sick.  You jettison the contents of your stomach into your host’s toilet, and then you’re hungry.  Oh yeah, it’s also early, because you went out hard.  If you’re in this situation, Subway is the place for you.  Located in the Garage at the corner of Dunster and Mt. Auburn streets, it’s only open until midnight on Fridays and Saturdays, and it’s had some problems with chip theft since it opened this winter, but neither of these drawbacks change the fact that the five-dollar foot-long fills you like nothing else.

Kong — Hello, intrepid traveler.  You’ve been out doing it big with your idiot host and his roommates, and now you want to finish it the right way, with some sketchy Chinese food.  Stagger on over to the Hong Kong on Mass Ave, ignore the bouncers at the door (you’re not trying to drink more, for God’s sake, just get some freaking food.)  Then cram youself in and order up some beef with broccoli.  This place stays open right through 2 am.

Felipes —  This Mt. Auburn establishment is a Square staple.  It’s open until 2, only takes cash, and boasts the legendary super-burrito—which actually isn’t that super, but it’s all the same at this time of night.  Plenty of your blasted brethren will be lined up for a bite when you get there, so savor the kinship.  And try to pick up one of the women who just made their way across the street from the Fox or the Spee.  Delicious.

Photo from Landii/Wikimedia Commons