Eat less, lose weight!

Breaking news: Harvard figured out that feeding chubby people doughnuts won’t help them lose weight.

We always thought that eating fewer calories would lead to weight loss. Well, after two years, an 811 person study, and who knows how much money (cough, financial crisis, cough), Harvard’s setting the record straight.

The study asked its participants—who were each assigned to a diet that emphasized either proteins, carbohydrates, or fat—to cut their calorie intake by 750 calories a day and were asked to exercise each week. Regardless of which diet they were on, all participants lost weight. Wow.

Feeling kind of doubtful, The Crimson decided to do its own study (we guarantee ours is much more cost-efficient). After two minutes, 119,000 Google results, and zero dollars (if you don’t include the coffee that we’re drinking to curb our pangs of hunger), we stumbled upon the exact same answer.

"We all pretty much know that in order to weigh less, we need to eat less. It seems like I have known this forever," http://willtaft.com/health/how-to-eat-less-to-weigh-less/ July 2007

We're pretty confident at the outset that there is no such secret. We're just going to show you a weight loss method that won't be easy, but that will work if you do it right. Just so you don't think we're being mysterious, here's the method: eat less and exercise. Surprised?

http://www.soyouwanna.com/site/syws/loseweight/loseweight.html

Now we’re convinced.