Bummer in the City

A recent article in the Columbia Daily Spectator reveals the real empire state of mind: cash-starved.

Columbia University's 2009 financial statement notes that the school has racked up a total of $1.39 billion in debt—a level that could imperil the University's AAA credit rating if it climbs much higher, according to Columbia President Lee Bollinger.

The AAA rating is the highest given by external credit rating agencies. It denotes a very low risk of credit default and means selling debt is cheaper for institutions considered financially sound.

But it's not only about the bills. It's also a matter of pride. Columbia economics professor Sally Davidson is quoted in the article as saying, “In addition, Columbia’s peers—Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Stanford, MIT all have AAA ratings—does Columbia want to drop below this group? Probably not.”

Damn straight, Harvard’s got a AAA credit rating. And we're champs in the debt department with a bitchin’ $6 billion! Wait…that isn’t something to be proud of? Oops.

Find out FlyBy’s money-making recommendations for our debtor from another begetter after the jump.

How can Columbia make some bank? Personal experience suggests nixing hot breakfast, or developing a nifty line of golf-course-friendly clothing.

A country of nearly the same name in Latin America provides a slightly more sketch (read: illegal) but certainly more profitable quick-cash scheme.

And there’s always the follow-the-advice-of-a-fictional-movie route. We can think of a couple of entrepreneurial professors from Columbia who escaped from debt to make millions and a very catchy theme song. Their success was conditional on the existence of ghosts, and that endowment’s looking eerily spectral right about now isn’t it, Columbia? Unfortunately, we’re betting that’s a problem that even Mel Gibson couldn’t fix…