The WTF Era Begins?

The latest UC election snafu inspired revolutionaries in the class of 2013 to take up the cause against the UC and call for a government “free from corruption” run purely by freshman students.

In response to last week’s disputed election results, 2013-ers Jeanine Sinanan-Singh, Izzy Link-Levy, Felix de Rosen, Richard Huang, Billy Gorman, and Benjamin Cohen issued a statement establishing the Weld Thirty-Four (WTF) Republic and encouraging “all to throw off the chains of oppression and join us in our crusade for justice.” This call to arms comes with a new agenda and a new vision for all of Harvard University.

Viva la revolution....after the jump.

“Dear Harvard Community,” they wrote in an email. “When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bonds which have connected them with the Undergraduate Council, common sense requires them to declare  the causes which impel them to the separation: Considering the recent complications in regard to the UC elections, we, Weld Thirty-Four (hereinafter WTF) and associates, declare null and void the authority of the UC.”

In an interview with FlyBy, “Benevolent Leader” Jeanine Sinanan-Singh said, “I think our call to action represents the general Harvard community attitude that the UC is unimportant and the latest election issues really confirms our problems with them.”

The latest press release issued by the WTF Republic lists grievances against the UC, objectives for the new government, and a war agenda that includes colonizing Yale, forcing the UPenn Quakers into war, and holding Emma Watson hostage after invading Brown University.

And what do loyal Harvard subjects have to look forward to after the 2013 takeover? The WTF Republic aims to charge Asian tourists per picture (to restore depleted endowments), create a student center, restore hot breakfast, replace Quad shuttles with Teleportation devices, and institute jesters and fast-food restaurants of choice in upperclassman Houses.

FlyBy says watch out: that hot breakfast campaign promise is always a crowd-pleaser.