Bulldogs Can't Be Saved

I’ll be the first person to admit that “Crimson” is a lousy mascot. It’s a color, it doesn’t do anything—I’m pretty ambivalent about it.

But as a future veterinarian, I have to objectively say that there is no worse mascot than a bulldog.

Sure, 100 years ago, when bulldogs were bred to fight bulls, that would be a pretty cool mascot—those dogs were fierce competitors, beasts to behold. Maybe that was even applicable to Yale’s football team back then.

But today’s bulldog? Today’s bulldog is a wrinkly, grossly out-of-proportion anatomical mess. With a nose that’s mashed up almost up to its eyes, and tiny, knobbly legs, I would bet a good amount of money that a bulldog wouldn’t be able to make it up the steps of Harvard Stadium. Indeed, the fact that some teams in the South will bring an actual bulldog to their 100+ degree games to sit outside for over three hours (even if it’s in an air-conditioned dog house like Georgia) makes the inner dog-lover in me sad.

And sure, there’s no way that The Game will be anywhere close to 100 degrees (sadly, it’ll probably be closer to zero, which makes the inner Texan in me even more sad). But to me, having a bulldog as a mascot is a fate worse than say, having a Chihuahua, or yes, even a color as your mascot. Because when I see a bulldog, I don’t see the intimidating bull-fighter it was a century ago—I just see a waddling respiratory mess prone to keeling over from overheating.

So if we’re going by mascot alone, the Harvard Crimson will always soundly thrash the Yale Bulldogs.

But as we all know, Ivy League football contests aren’t decided by mascot alone, right? If that were true, the Columbia Lions would have the championship—or, you know, at least a win.

Harvard doesn’t need to prove it’s better solely via mascot, though—it wins on almost all other football facets as well.

Coming into Saturday’s contest, the Crimson has the advantage of, well, already being Ivy League champion. Can Yale say that? No, and it hasn’t been able to say that since 2006, the last time the Bulldogs won The Game.

Harvard has now been atop the Ancient Eight eight times in the last two decades. Yale? Just twice.

But Saturday’s game isn’t about the past—it’s about the present. And the present offers yet another reason why Harvard is very explicably better than Yale. Even with an at-times depleted offense and a starting secondary that returned just one player from last year, the Crimson is undefeated thus far.

No starting quarterback Conner Hempel for effectively the first five games of the season and the previous two? No problem, in steps junior Scott Hosch, who showed he could step up and lead the Crimson on a comeback win over Penn last week to clinch a share of the Ivy title.

No starting tailback Paul Stanton for the first few games or fullback Andrew Casten for the last few games? No problem, in comes freshman Semar Smith, who had a career game against Columbia and showed flashes of Stanton’s ability to break tackles against Penn.

No starting wide receiver Ty Hamblin for the first five games? No problem, we’ve got junior Andrew Fischer, and Semar’s brother Seitu, as well as a bunch of sophomore receivers I’ve never heard of (who are you, Joseph Foster?) stepping up.

The Crimson’s injury-riddled season has shown the immense depth that coach Tim Murphy’s squad has, but I’ve got some bad news for Yale if it was hoping to face a second-string team: Hempel, Stanton, Casten, Hamblin? They’ll all be back, and hungry, Saturday.

This brings me to my final reason that Harvard will win the 131st playing of The Game: the Crimson has more to play for.

Yes, Harvard may have already clinched a share of the title, but especially for Hempel, Casten, Hamblin, and for each of the 21 seniors, this rendition of The Game is also the final time these guys will play in Harvard Stadium—the Bulldogs’ seniors already had their last hurrah in the Yale Bowl.

And the Crimson’s playing to make more history. Forget beating Yale for the eighth straight year, this squad’s fighting for its first undefeated season in a decade. Murphy’s been saying all season that this might be his best defense since the 1997 team, and Princeton coach Bob Surace tabbed Harvard’s O-line “NFL caliber” in the Harvard-Princeton postgame press conference, and this final game, The Game, is this team’s shot at adding an exclamation point to a nearly flawless chapter of the book that is Harvard football.

The New York Times published an article three years ago titled “Can the Bulldog Be Saved?” If Harvard has its way, the answer Saturday will be a resounding no.

—Staff writer Samantha Lin can be reached at samantha.lin@thecrimson.com.