A Theological Rundown

SEATTLE, Wash.—I haven’t missed a World Series game since 2003. During the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, I calculated that I watched an average of 16 hours of coverage every day for two weeks.

I’ve been told on a number of occasions that I follow sports with a religious fervor.

If that’s the case, I’m caught in a theological rundown.

I grew up in Los Angeles, but I’ve been a lifelong fan of the St. Louis Cardinals. For a good chunk of my life, I would have been more likely to know tomorrow’s game time than the first names of some of my teachers.

But this summer, I work for the Seattle Mariners. And in the few weeks that I’ve worked for the club, I’ve had to make some adjustments to my long-standing allegiances.

First came the easy changes—minimal re-education, for instance, to alter the wording from “root, root, root for the Cardinals” to “root, root, root for the Mariners.” Some of the other transitions have been more difficult.

Developing an emotional connection to a sports team is, at a basic level, entirely irrational. Why waste any energy on a game whose outcome is totally out of your control? But I’ve done it for 20 years, and I have no intention of changing my behavior anytime soon.

Because of this devotion, I have to somehow convince myself to develop this kind of emotional connection to the team. The easiest way to do this, of course, is to spend time around other fans.

I’m getting there. Who knows what kind of M’s fan I’ll be by the end of the summer?

Fortunately, the Cardinals and the Mariners are in different leagues, and the two only meet once every few years at best. So I think I can manage and maintain both allegiances.

Jeremy Piven and Goldie Hawn are both Jewish Buddhists. And if they can be Jubus, why can’t I be a Cardinals-Mariners fan?

I’m sure my grandmother would be thrilled.

E. Benjamin Samuels ’13, an operations manager and associate sports editor, is a Near Eastern Languages and Civilizations concentrator in Lowell House.