We All Know a Donald Trump

“When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ‘em by the pussy. You can do anything.”

These words came from presidential candidate Donald Trump, as he boasted to Billy Bush about sexually assaulting women. These are the words of rape culture—a culture of male entitlement over women’s bodies, where women are viewed as objects for sexual consumption, where sexual assault is bragged about and met with laughter.

But these words could’ve easily come from our classmates.

I’ve seen the same sentiments spelled out in group chats between Harvard students—my peers. In these messages, male friends make elaborate schemes to sleep with as many women as possible. They usually target non-Harvard women because they see them as easy targets. They imagine that non-Harvard women will be readily impressed by their Harvard credentials and also less likely to report them for sexual assault. They exchange tips and tricks for picking up women. They share documents about the women that they have slept with, ranking them on their oral sex abilities as well as their appearance.

The men are often viciously cruel to the women they had worked so hard to sleep with, calling them fat and ugly. They attach photos of women and take turns mocking them for their appearance. They laugh at flat-chested women for their small breasts that would make sexual interactions less desirable. And if the women are not attractive enough, the friends will joke about “putting a bag over her head.” The women in these conversations do not have names, and are sometimes described as “walking vaginas.”

In these group chats, a male friend even shared a video, circulated without consent, of him inserting his fingers into a woman's anus. But these men aren’t stupid. They know what they are doing is wrong, even illegal. They delete the video evidence. And upon confrontation, they admit that what they are doing is problematic. But they also say that it’s universal behavior. They say that all men act this way. They say that it’s just “locker room talk.”

Rape culture unequivocally exists at Harvard. More than 72 percent of undergraduate women have experienced sexual harassment, and 31 percent have experienced sexual assault. And, on our very own campus, men—our own friends and classmates—scheme and brag about using women as objects of pleasure.

You don’t have to be Donald Trump to feel like you can do anything. You don’t have to be Donald Trump to feel like you can verbally degrade women for their “big phony tits,” loudly evaluate them on the size of their breasts, grope their breasts against their will, grab their vaginas without asking like they’re nothing more than a “stuffed animal on the couch,” pressure women to sleep with you, “try to fuck her” and “move on her like a bitch,” and then mock women for being fat and ugly after you sleep with them. Society has made it acceptable for even the most average of men to believe that they are entitled to women’s bodies. You don’t have to be as wealthy or famous as Trump; you could even just be a student at Harvard.

But Donald Trump and his supporters insist that his words and actions are excusable because it’s something that “all men do, at least all normal men do.” Bragging about sexual assault is simply something that happens “when alpha personalities are in the same presence.” Boys will be boys, and should not be held accountable for their actions—even when these “boys” are grown men.

It’s time we hold men accountable for their words and actions. We should hold Donald Trump accountable for his disgusting endorsement and perpetration of sexual assault. And we should also hold the men on our very own campus accountable for perpetuating similarly degrading and misogynistic attitudes.

And, before someone starts yelling #NotAllMen or “playing devil’s advocate” or in some way derailing this conversation about rape culture to talk about how none of this is his fault, we should understand that misogyny is systemic. Systemic oppression has nothing to do with individual guilt, and everything to do with collective responsibility. Rape culture is ingrained so deeply in our society that we all participate in it, often entirely unconsciously. We are all part of the problem—and yes, even women contain a degree of internalized misogyny. One need only look at Kellyanne Conway, Betsy McCaughey, or any other female Trump surrogate who has tried to defend his recent remarks.

Donald Trump should be criticized and even convicted for abusing his position of power to sleep with women, for treating women like sexual objects at his personal disposal, for violating their consent and grabbing their bodies without permission. But unfortunately, this behavior is nothing we haven’t seen before.

We all know a Donald Trump. It could be an acquaintance, a teammate, a classmate, a roommate, or a friend.

It could even be you.

Nian Hu, ’18, a Crimson editorial executive, is a government concentrator living in Mather House. Her column appears on alternate Thursdays.