Harvard’s Recession Indicators
Does the anxiety of the housing lottery ever make it feel like you’re living through a housing crisis? Are all of your friends comping HUCG this semester (or at least, they’re taking Ec 10b)? Maybe you’ve noticed that the copious amounts of students getting lattes at Blank Street, Blue Bottle, and Pavement feel like a college-coded rebrand of the lipstick index? While it could just be another Tuesday — especially when you’re at Harvard — keep your eyes (and wallets) peeled for these recession indicators on campus.
Free Food Around Campus
Sometimes, getting free food from deals and events around campus feels less like a student perk and more like signing up for the Hunger Games. If the event contains key words like “sushi,” “boba,” or “Dave’s Hot Chicken,” make sure to show up thirty minutes beforehand to snatch a California Roll or the last half of a Mochi Donut. And outside of campus? It’s even worse. Don’t get me started on the lines at Capital One Café on free coffee Mondays, or the hour I waited at SoBol for a $2 açai bowl…
The Brattle’s Upcoming Movies
The Brattle Theatre is a small theater located diagonally across the street from Felipe’s Taqueria that proudly claims to use real butter on their popcorn. Fittingly, the titles of their recent showings seem to capture the economic climate for modern Harvard students — Laugh, Cry, and Embrace the Chaos? The Brooklyn Butcher? The Rebrand? Let’s keep our fingers crossed that despite the ominous undertones, they’ll be able to keep the real butter.
Brain Break Offerings
After a long day of awkward classes that overlap with HUDS’s hours, all we want to do is grab pretzels, s’mores, and strawberry pound cake from brain break. More often than not though, I’m met with rabbit food: celery, shredded lettuce, and a single withered carrot. It could be a sign of a coming market crash, or a message from http://dining.harvard.edu/ that I need to spend more time studying instead of checking the menu.
First Night Free with HUID
Have you ever gone to a musical or show on campus when it wasn’t free with HUID? (Don’t worry, I haven’t either.) In fact, I’ve never seen a Harvard student in attendance when it’s not free with HUID — and that’s including the entire pit, cast, and crew. Recession indicator, or just stingy students? I’ll leave that up to you to decide.
Course Registration
If you’re frustrated that you haven’t managed to register for GENED 1104: Science and Cooking, or that you got rejected from every creative writing workshop for the third year in a row, it might not be because the Crimson Cart deities hate you. Have you ever considered that there might just be fewer Gen Ed spots altogether? I’m no conspiracy theorist, but according to my sources, this is a blaring recession indicator we shouldn’t ignore.
Eggs
Everyone’s already made the connection between egg prices and economic conditions. At Harvard, the signs are just as clear, especially since fresh fried eggs are not served at Annenberg Dining Hall. (This is not a thinly veiled petition to get fried eggs into Annenberg, or for the Currier egg peddler to expand their services).
The Big Light-up Sphere in Cabot Library
Who is funding it??? Why is it always on and why does it have to be so obnoxiously colorful??? Why are they funding it??? Is it the cause of the power outages???
The Red Line
The constant delays on the Red Line may seem like a metaphor for our slowing economy (according to the final surviving English major I spotted in Lamont at 5 a.m. last week), but unfortunately, this is the one thing on our list that’s not a recession indicator. Despite claims that the Red Line is running faster than it has in over twenty years, the day it arrives on time is the same day tourists stop rubbing the left foot of the John Harvard Statue.
STEM Final Clubs
Due to the recent funding cuts, the number of labs and research opportunities on campus is rapidly dwindling. For Harvard students, this means that STEM research on campus is more selective than ever — perfect for students who get their self-worth from the 3% acceptance rate. Forget final clubs: how do I get punched by the last OEB lab on campus?
Ntsh Bdngfld @YRDFST
Take me away (Take me away) To better days (To better days)