‘Becoming a Man’ Preview: One Man’s Transition, a Community of Change

“Becoming a Man” is uncompromisingly real. From explosive arguments to knotty relationships to moments of absolute euphoria, every scene of the play comes from the lived gender transition of its playwright P. Carl. It is one man’s transition transposed onto the stage, yet it features equally the consequential growth of his wife, family, and friends. This community of transformations asks for radical empathy in a time of potent anti-trans fears.

Based on P. Carl’s 2020 memoir of the same name, “Becoming a Man” premieres at the American Repertory Theater on Feb. 21. It is a notably large-scale theater production in a world with few prominent trans narratives, and even fewer of men like Carl, who transitioned after 50 years of living as a queer woman. The story covers Carl’s life around 2017 and explores the disjointedness of presenting as a white, heterosexual man after decades spent studying feminist theory and being married to a lesbian.

Carl’s narrative takes courage to share, particularly with regard to its vulnerability about Carl’s mental health struggles and family conflicts. Yet this honesty powerfully affirms that the freedom to be yourself can save you, while providing some of that freedom for trans audiences through representation.

“I’ve received many emails. It’d be a one line message of, ‘The book saved my life,’” Carl said. “And it is that because when you don’t see yourself anywhere, and you see yourself for the first time, it’s kind of life and death.”

To move from the page to the stage, “Becoming a Man” takes on new physical artistry — equipped with a cast of seven, original music and design, and digital projections on a sleek set that allow scenes of different memories, and of Carl’s (Petey Gibson and Stacey Raymond) identities pre- and post-transition, to merge smoothly.

“My vision was to be able to realize the way in which memory and the past and the present run into each other,” said Carl, who co-directs the production with Diane M. Paulus ’88.

“I think one of the biggest contributions I’m making is how to help put this into three dimensions, and how to use theater to create even more meaning than what’s on the page,” Paulus said.

One novel dimension of meaning comes from the live audience. As opposed to the memoir, the theater offers a communal space and asks those within to, according to Paulus, “open their hearts and their minds” and compassionately contemplate Carl’s real life.

As such, initiatives showcasing dozens of guest speakers accompany the performances. Leaders, scholars, and activists lead “Radical Welcomes” and “Act II” discussions that aim to bring the audience in conversation with the play and each other. The theater lobby welcomes attendees with an exhibition of photographs of trans youth and their reflections on anti-trans legislation.

This emphasis on open-mindedness courses through the play’s creative team. Regardless of the story’s specificity, there is no shortage of diverse LGBTQ+ expressions bringing it to life, as a result of the majority trans and nonbinary creative team.

“The love and support that [the team] feel for each other, I think we feel that so strongly because of the story we are telling and because we’ve all had those times in our life where we are stepping into a new part of ourselves and hoping for that kind of love and support from the world around us,” Christopher Liam Moore ’86, who plays Carl’s father, said.

Even for those who know nothing of the trans experience, the changes that Carl’s wife, friends, and parents undergo offer something to relate to. The play sparks community building and empathy amidst what Carl describes as the “obsession now, politically, with trans lives,” according to Carl. And community is precisely what gets one through times of change.

“I think what the play will do is embody the humanity of trans people,” Carl said. “And I hope that it not only makes people aware, but really activates people to make it possible for trans people to live.”

“Becoming a Man” runs at the Loeb Drama Center from Feb. 21 through March 10.

—Staff writer Isabelle A. Lu can be reached at isabelle.lu@thecrimson.com.