To Pee or Not To Pee: A Defense of Peeing on the John Harvard Statue

Are we horrible people?

This question runs through my head every time I stroll through Harvard Yard passing what some might call our school’s northern star: the John Harvard statue.

You might wonder how a statue can incite such existential questions. It’s not the statue itself, but what we students do to it. Specifically, our obsession with urinating on the monument in the middle of the night.

To give you the short answer — no, we are not horrible people.

Traditions and inside jokes — including peeing on John Harvard — are part and parcel of a fun campus. However, what we widely accept as normal and even essential to the Harvard experience carries its own ethical baggage. When herds of tourists clamor around the statue taking the perfect snapshot, they often grip a golden foot that was coated in golden showers mere hours before.

Most tourists seem completely oblivious to this tradition, which raises the moral question: Are we horrible for allowing them to rub a tainted surface?

Each time I ask myself this question, I find myself responding no. Community bonding, inside jokes, and long-held traditions are vital on any college campus, but especially one virtually devoid of spirit.

Harvard’s lack of school spirit is almost natural: None of us chose Harvard because it had a reputation for being fun. The inability to find fun on this campus is so serious that The Crimson ran an entire feature on all the reasons why and how the school lacks this key component of a holistic college experience.

But despite Harvard’s natural propensity to eschew fun in favor of scholasticism and resume building, we must strive to relentlessly cultivate campus culture. After all, the best four years of our life are supposed to be those in college. And even if we chose this university for its ground-breaking academics, that shouldn’t mean our entire experience is defined by grades and courses. Harvard has the potential to house both academic and social excellence: These pursuits are not mutually exclusive.

Shared truths, circumstances, and realities can unite our — too-often bitterly divided — student body and foster a tight-knit campus environment. Indeed, traditions can often catalyze the development of a true sense of belonging.

When students all participate in the same joke, an instant connection is formed. The distinction between students and tourists solidifies, bonding together the student body aware of the truth behind the statue. The sense of togetherness that this tradition provides is invaluable.

In the case of John Harvard, though, does school spirit come at the expense of tourist safety?

A tradition involving peeing on a statue — which research suggests is not likely to spread most significant diseases — may be well worth the cost if it forges connection among students.

Traditions and culture, like ceremonial urination on our namesake, are the lifeboats we desperately need to save our sinking school spirit.

So, the next time you see someone holding the infamous golden foot, just smile and remind yourself that you are part of something much greater than any one person.

Chloe I. Goldberg ’28, a Crimson Editorial editor, lives in Canaday Hall.