Running to Catch My Breath

College life can feel like a constant uphill battle. Every one of us feels it in our fight to stay ahead as midterm after midterm hits. Most days we’re just trying to stay afloat, cranking out problem sets ‘til the wee hours of the morning, fending off the never-ending stream of emails, and juggling multiple club commitments. However, in habitually pushing to go above and beyond, it’s all too easy to lose track of our mental and physical well-being until we crash. To avoid such a catastrophe, some people read, some watch Netflix, some nap. My strategy? I run.

I always hated running. Even as a kid, cross-country felt like torture — the monotony of running around and around a track, or worse, to nowhere on a treadmill was unbearable. Now? I run a 5k twice a week — both a feat and a sign of an identity crisis in the eyes of my younger self. She’d ask the same question you’re probably asking: Why would I ever run?

On especially early mornings I ask myself this too. But for me, running is more than just a self-care habit, and while baths, skincare, and seeing friends all renew my energy, none make me feel as incredibly alive and powerful as running does.

There’s truly nothing like the wave of a runner’s high that swells up mid-way through — akin to an adrenaline rush and stretching a sore muscle at once. This feeling drowns out the rest of the world, allowing me a brief respite in which the path to success is clear and immediately achievable.

Achievement runs our lives — no pun intended — no matter how hard we might try to escape or deny it. The pressures of being the best, the first, the straight-A student are, for me at least, subconscious demands that must be met at every moment. This unhealthy dependence on external achievements can be detrimental to our development as individuals, but in their unavoidability, our only option is to prioritize personal goals alongside them. Exercising our abilities beyond learning, finding and nurturing our inner passions without external motivations, is the only way to ensure we can become holistic and self-conscious individuals. Running is my chosen form of growth: a space where I can push myself to go a little further, a little harder than the day before, and when I succeed, feel proud.

Running not only drives me to work harder but also keeps any negativity at bay. Stress and worry slowly but surely creep up to the doors of our minds, knocking at them to enter and destroy the fragile balance of our lives. When I run, the knocking recedes, my thoughts reduced to the beat of the music, the wind on my face, and the pound of my feet against the cracked Cambridge pavement.

Using my brain for one thing and one thing only is an immeasurable relief that has kept me grounded through life’s busiest moments. More than this, blocking off personal time in my routine keeps the world varied and exciting, helping me find passion in the deluge of work to be done and reminding me to find joy in the challenge. It’s easy to get lost in the sea of responsibilities, but my jogs are a life preserver — keeping my head above the water so I never feel close to drowning.

Taking the time to do things that empower us, that remind us of how alive we are, is the single most important form of self-care. Though each impending midterm may seem to move the finish line further and further away, we owe it to ourselves to make our personal health a priority. Saving time for internal growth is the only way that we will ever make it through college in one piece, and while running may not be your favorite form, finding something that works for you will be an invaluable respite from the chaos of our achievement-fueled lives.

Alannah K. Hill ’23, a Crimson Editorial editor, is a Human Developmental and Regenerative Biology concentrator in Kirkland House.

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