At Harvard, majors are called “concentrations” and minors are called “secondary concentrations.” We know what you’re thinking: That’s unnecessarily fancy and vague. Below, FM imagines better labels.
Major, Minor
It is your dear writer’s opinion that these highfalutin appellations are as pretentious as they are absurd; a rose is a rose and all that.
MAJOR, Major
NOTHING CONNOTES MORE AUTHORITY, MORE PRESTIGE, MORE VIGOROUS INTENSITY, THAN SOMETHING IN ALL CAPS.
Colonel, Major
We need an upgrade, so why not promote our titles? What’s better than a major? A colonel, that’s wot!
Majeur, Mineur
Harvard’s first rule when it comes to classing up something; if you want it fancy, it has to be in French. Eliot’s fanciest party isn’t called “Fête” for nothing.
Secondo, Contorno
These are words that describe different parts of an average Italian meal. Secondo dishes typically consist of a meat or fish. A contorno is a vegetable that accompanies said meat or fish. *kisses fingers*
Hypocenter, Epicenter
We are talking earth-shattering achievement here, so why not call it what it is?